Monday and Tuesday
My few days of work this week seemed surreal. I was afraid I’d throw up and give myself away. Thankfully, there was no chance of that. The coffee in the faculty room seemed incredibly pungent and it was difficult for me to breathe in there, so I avoided going in there. Being pregnant seemed my priorities changed overnight and I really didn’t care about my lesson plans all that much anymore. I’m not sure if that was a reaction to being pregnant or just because I know I won’t be working there much longer. I had known that I was going to be looking for another job at the end of the school year, but now there was the chance that I’d have to find one during the school year. I also had a chat with my principal and played up my hypothyroidism. I told her that my thyroid was acting up and that because my weight was fluctuating, I’d have to go to the doctor more often for tests and that it might be scheduled during school. Sure enough, my first meeting with my OBGYN could only be scheduled at 11am, for some reason. I hope they’re not all like that!
We had our first appointment with the special nurse (I forget her title, but I know she’s an RN). It went well. A lot of it we had already known thanks to internet research and a book I had picked up. It included explanations of what not to eat, what tests I’d be getting, what would happen at my appointment with the OBGYN, discussions of my diet, how much weight I should gain (not much, since I’m already “obese”), and discussions of my thyroid medication. I explained the situation with my endocrinologist and exactly what she said about my medication, how she doesn’t take pregnant patients who are on a medication with T3 as well as T4. I also explained that the American Thyroid Association states that pregnancy with a T4 medication is fine, but that there’s no research to state whether or not T3 is a problem. The RN told me to stay on the medication that I’m taking and that the OBGYN would refer me to an endocrinologist in their practice when I meet with her in a few weeks. The RN gave me a book on pregnancy along with several pamphlets.
When we got home, I called my dad and told him. He seemed quite happy, which surprised me. I never could quite figure out my father anyway. He really wasn’t consistent with his words and his deeds, but I was at least glad he acted happy.
Turkey day came and it was good, other than the fact that I felt queasy all day. I wished I had worn a sports bra. My breasts were sore and every hug hurt. Today, the smell of Fritos being eaten was particularly nauseating and I ran to the bathroom a few times, but didn’t throw up. It was great spending time among family, even though I wasn’t feeling well the entire time. Everyone present already knew I was pregnant, but it was a small gathering. My mom gave us books. I got one on pregnancy and Kyle got one on fathers-to-be. Kyle and my middle sister’s husband got along amazingly well! I was glad he was quickly becoming part of the family! It didn’t help that my middle sister’s husband spent the whole time joking about us having twins. Twins run in both sides of my family and on one side of Kyle’s family. And being over 35 and overweight makes it more likely that I’ll have twins too. Kyle and I discussed that possibility on the way home.
When we got home, Kyle called his mom and told her about me being pregnant. She said she was happy, but didn’t really sound it. I hoped things would be okay. Kyle talked with her later via text and she revealed why she didn’t sound too happy. She was concerned that she’d never get to see this grandchild either (Kyle’s sister has kids in a faraway state that she never gets to see). While we live a long drive away, it’s not like she’d never get to keep the kid.
My youngest sister couldn’t make it to my mom’s house yesterday, so me and Kyle went back to give her the news in person. She’s pregnant too, only she’s due in April! She was happy for me and we spent most of the time talking about pregnancy stuff. Her husband wasn’t along, so Kyle seemed to feel very out of place.
When we got home, Kyle and I had sex before he left for work. While he was gone, I had cramping, it felt like menstrual cramps. Then I went to the bathroom and noticed that I had started to bleed. Was it even blood? It looked pink. I got scared I was having a miscarriage and called the doctor’s office. I told them everything that happened, including having sex (which isn’t supposed to harm a pregnancy). The nurse said she’d check with a doctor and call back. I wandered around the apartment, cleaning like a crazy person, waiting for that phone call. They finally returned it and said if the cramping or bleeding didn’t worsen, I would be fine. Within a few hours, the bleeding went away, but the cramping didn’t.
I awoke at my usual time, but fell back asleep several times. When I finally did get up, my head felt off, like I was getting sick. I still had those menstrual-like cramps. I looked it up on the internet and it said that it was normal and it was just my uterus stretching. According to the books I read, the embryo (it’s not even considered a fetus yet) is only the size of a sweet pea, now that today marks the beginning of my 6th week. Why the fuck does my uterus need to stretch that much for something that small!?
After mustering all my strength to make myself a healthy breakfast and lunch and take all of my supplements, Kyle and I decided to have a fast food dinner. I’m wondering if there’s something I’m missing in my diet because after I ate that food (double cheeseburger, fries, a small milkshake, and a soda), I felt a lot better. I tried to think what nutritional elements had been present in that meal. There was a lot of fat, salt, carbs, and calories, with a small amount of protein. I realized that I needed to fix my diet, but how? Which of those things made me feel better? I guess I’ll have to experiment and find out!