Pregnancy Week 12

Saturday January 7, 2017
I was actually feeling okay today.  I managed to get up and get a few things accomplished.  It wasn’t much, but it was more than I had expected, so I was grateful.  I was also incredibly hungry, so I ate a fair amount of food throughout the day.  Maybe the baby is going through a growth spurt or something.  Around mid-afternoon, though, my energy level just crashed.  I just laid down on the couch and napped on and off for the rest of the day.  Well, at least I had a little energy for some time.

Sunday January 8, 2017
I woke up, got up, and transferred to the couch, but I didn’t do or eat anything.  I probably played on my phone for a while or watched some tv.  I just remember feeling worse and worse with every hour that passed.  I was feeling truly wretched when Kyle woke up and didn’t want to make me anything for breakfast.  I dragged myself off of the couch and drove to a diner where I could order some quick food.

I felt less nauseous when I got home, but my head was still feeling swimmy and “off” so I laid back down on the couch.  That’s pretty much where I spent the remainder of the day.  I feel like such a lazy freeloader.  Kyle is the one who does the dishes, scoops the cat litter, and attempts to keep our apartment clean.  While all I do when I’m home is lay on the couch and nap intermittently.  It really bothers me.  I said something to him about it and he said that it evened out because I make more money and that I do help when I can.  It’s just that I really can’t lately and he understands.  He said that my body is worn out with growing a baby human and that’s okay because soon we’re going to have a son or daughter.  He can be so sweet sometimes!

We stayed up late together just watching movies and cuddling on the couch.  My sex drive has been non-existent since I got pregnant.  Even before I knew about it, I just wasn’t in “the mood”.  So far, Kyle has been very understanding about that too!

Monday January 9, 2017
When I got to work today, I noticed that my classroom was colder than usual.  I do know that they shut off the heat over the weekend, so assumed that they had just turned it on later than usual and that soon enough my classroom would be heated.  That wasn’t the case.  I taught my classes in my coat.  In fact, I never even took off my coat to teach my first few classes!  I had lessons planned that would allow me to rest every so often because I knew I still tended to get nauseous and dizzy.  However, to keep my students warm, I did some lessons on the art of movement.  I was surprised that I could handle it, but I mostly did.  Even stranger, I didn’t fall asleep during the art documentary later in the day like I did last week.

When I got home, I felt like I couldn’t get warm.  It was probably because I had taught in the cold all day.  It took a lot of time, but eventually, I did warm up and was able to nap.

Tuesday January 10, 2017
Today we had heat at work.  In fact, my classroom was more like a sauna than anything.  After yesterday, I didn’t care how hot it was, so long as there was heat!  Today went well, even though I still couldn’t quite focus on getting stuff done.  I still have a bit of a to-do list that I couldn’t get to, despite theoretically having the time to do it.  I just couldn’t focus.  I did the bare minimum and made sure that my lesson plans were done and my photocopies were made, but I didn’t get to some of the other stuff that will need to be done eventually.

As always, I went home and took a nap.  When I woke up, I got the mail and saw that I had a bill from the lab company from November.  They charged $399 more than the insurance paid.  I was hoping that there was a mistake or something.  The problem was that I will always have other people around because I share my room with the music teacher on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, so I won’t even be able to look into it until next week.

Wednesday January 11, 2017
Kyle woke me up in the middle of the night, clearly terrified.  He was sitting straight up, but somehow he was still stuck in some kind of dream.  He kept saying things like “the road is too narrow” and “the people are going to get hurt”.  I wasn’t sure if it was something related to his seizures or not.  I wasn’t sure if I should leave him alone, try to wake him up, or try to comfort him.  I tried to tell him that it wasn’t real, that he was dreaming, but he didn’t seem to hear me.  I tentatively put my arm around him and he clung onto it like it was the difference between life and death.  We stayed like that and eventually my words seemed to get through to him.  It took him a long time to calm down and eventually we both went back to sleep.

When I woke up, I decided to confide in a coworker at my school.  I decided to tell her that I was pregnant and ask her what she thought the best course of action is.  She seems to be very tuned into the politics of this particular school whereas I can never guess how people are going to react.  She somehow guessed that I was pregnant.  It was probably because of how quickly into our relationship we got “married”.  She recommended that I talk to someone from the union first, then tell our principal.  Thankfully, the way the due date is set up, I won’t have to take any time off.  The main problem is to explain the difference between my marriage date and due date to a very conservative community.  I breezed through the day, nervous about how things would go with the union rep.

I couldn’t nap when I got home.  I was too worried about things, including that lab bill.  It wasn’t just that bill, which I could pay if I really scrimped this month, but the bills I haven’t gotten for the other labs that have been taken since then.   When I did get her on the phone, I was surprised to find that it wasn’t even a long conversation.  She said the main problem is to not violate the “scandal clause” in the contract.  She said it would be easily done if I just tell people I’m due in “late summer”.  It seemed like it could work, but I was a bit dubious because my principal can be so difficult about certain things and so supportive about others.  I hoped she’d be supportive this time.

Thursday January 12, 2017
I had another long day today.  I made sure to go in early so I could talk to the principal.  She seemed to take the news very well, especially since she wouldn’t have to worry about me taking time off.  Then she put two and two together and realized that my “marriage” date and my due date didn’t line up.  She didn’t say anything else, so I was hoping that it would be okay.  I worried for a little while about what that would mean for me, but then I got distracted by my multitude of classes today.

Then I had my dance rehearsal.  Everything went really well and I got a lot done.  I was feeling pretty good about life and the dance production by the end of the rehearsal.  I even went home in a good mood.

Friday January 13, 2017
I had a half day followed by a faculty meeting.  They provided pizza for lunch.  Normally, I’d have one or two slices, but I was just so ravenous that I ate three. I have been really hungry all week.  I had two plates of nachos with cheese every day for breakfast and it just went downhill from there.  I wanted to eat less and better food, but I was just so hungry all of the time.

I had a doctor’s appointment today so I had asked my principal if I could leave early, at 2:30, then I realized that if I was going to pick up Kyle at the train station, I should leave earlier.  I left at 2:15 instead, figuring nobody would notice.  As I was pulling away from the school, I got a phone call from a coworker saying that the principal was looking for me.  I hoped I wasn’t going to be in trouble because of it.  I got an email from my principal asking why I left early.  I responded trying to excuse myself the best that I could, but I’m just worried that I got on her bad side.

The doctor’s appointment went really well.  I found out that the NIPT came back negative.  The baby is negative for all of the chromosomal abnormalities they tested for!  I wasn’t really worried, but I was still relieved to find out.  The best part was the ultrasound.  I not only got to look at the baby, but I got to watch him move around for quite awhile.  They were trying to get the measurement for the back of the head for Downs Syndrome, which seemed odd and unnecessary to me since I already got the NIPT, but I didn’t protest because it meant I got to see the baby.  He moved around quite a bit and they had to wait until he was facing exactly the right way. It took awhile, so I got to watch him moving around and even saw him move his arms.  While we waited, Kyle tried to get me to find out the sex of the baby. I’ve gotten in the habit of calling the baby “him”, but we really don’t know what the sex is.   If we’re having a girl, I really don’t want tons of pink, frilly dresses.  If we’re having a boy, I don’t want tons of sports jerseys.  So I remained firm and told them not to tell us.  I got two pictures from the ultrasound.

When we got home, we posted one of the ultrasounds on Facebook and decided to announce our pregnancy to our friends, in general.  We got tons of congratulations, which was nice.


Pregnancy Week 11

Saturday December 31
Kyle and I drove several states away to pick up his remaining belongings from his ex. The drive was long and I was very annoyed that everything wasn’t ready to go when we arrived. Then his ex tried to dicker about what things of his she wanted to keep when it was pretty clear what belonged to him and what belonged to her. My annoyance showed, so I pretty much stood further away from everyone and just waited for them to finish. I found out later that they had inquired why I was so angry and Kyle lied for me. I was initially very angry that he felt that he had to lie for my behavior. I wondered if I should be worried about my behavior to them, but realized that I cared too little about them to care that I treated them poorly. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.

After thinking about it longer, I realized that Kyle lying to them was actually a good thing. It wasn’t that he cared about their opinion of me, but the fact that he’s truthful to me and not to them made me feel better. I was in a bad mood and I started getting really annoyed that with the long drive and everything that Kyle had not expressed his gratitude for the long drive, me taking him out for lunch, etc. He also spent a lot of the trip complaining about various things like where I decided to stop for gas (when he was asleep and therefore unable to even give an opinion on the subject). We ended the day on a good note, somehow. He apologized for complaining a lot and thanked me for driving all that much and for the lunch.

Sunday January 1
I went over the Rachel’s house and hung out with several friends there.  We talked about about my pregnancy and I managed to get all of their addresses for the baby shower.  I was still tired and feeling off.  While everyone brought food with them, there were only two things I really wanted to eat.  And I couldn’t stop eating those two things!

I went to my mom’s house afterwards.  My youngest sister, her daughter, and her husband were there.  We exchanged gifts and ate dinner together.  My youngest sister is expecting her second child.  We told her daughter that she was going to have a cousin. She is so adorable!  She pointed to my belly and asked if I had a baby in there.  I told her I did, but that my baby would be coming after her mommy’s baby.

I had a good time, but it took a lot of energy out of me.  Will I even have energy and feel un-nauseous and un-dizzy again!?

Monday January 2
I spent the entire day on the couch.  I sort of watched some movies, but I mostly just drifted in and out of sleep throughout the day.    I really accomplished very little over the break other than just taking it easy and resting.  Am I going to be capable of going back to work?

Tuesday January 3
I tried very hard to go to bed early last night, but it didn’t happen. I must have slept too much during the day yesterday.  Eventually, I managed to drag myself to work, but I was really tired.  I did the best I could with my classes and made it through the day.  I also did my best to make sure to eat two crackers every hour.  I did  a pretty good job and it helped a bit with the nausea.  I showed a documentary to one of my older classes who was learning about art history and I fell asleep.  Thankfully the kids didn’t notice!  As soon as I got home, I went right to sleep.

Wednesday January 4
I was tired throughout the day today.  I had an easier day so it was okay that I wasn’t feeling too well.  I couldn’t stand for long periods of time without feeling dizzy, so I had made sure to plan my lessons accordingly.  It mostly worked out.  Again, I fell asleep as soon as I got home.  I really miss being able to do something when I get home.  Well, I’m at the end of my first trimester, so this shouldn’t last for too much longer.  I hope.

Thursday January 5
Today I was really worried about getting through the day.  I had seven classes, mostly with my tougher classes.  Then I had a rehearsal for my annual dance production.  I was really worried about getting through my classes today and then having energy to go through choreography with my students.  Somehow, I’m not sure how, I managed.  I even found a moment to take a break and eat a few crackers.  By the time I drove home, though, I felt so exhausted that I was concerned about my ability to actually drive without falling asleep.

Friday January 6
This felt like one of the longest work weeks of my life and it was only four days long!  I was counting the minutes just waiting to get out of there.  Eventually, finally, the moment arrived when I could go home and sleep!  And so I did.

Pregnancy Week 10

Saturday December 24
Kyle went to work and I drove to visit some relatives. My dad’s side of the family all get together on Christmas Eve. I really wanted Kyle to meet them, but because he’s the one with the least seniority, he couldn’t get the day off. I saw all my family with the intention of telling them all that I was pregnant. However, after a cursory “Hello, how are you?” They visited with their own immediate families. My own immediate family didn’t attend.   My dad decided to stay in Florida. My sisters decided to drive to visit their spouses’ families this year. I really didn’t have the opportunity to tell anyone, so I didn’t.

I thought it was rather odd that I didn’t tell them. I was unsure if it was really because I wasn’t ready to tell them or if I just felt odd that I really didn’t have a long enough conversation with anybody to actually tell them.  I drove home and Kyle and I exchanged presents.  I was a little disappointed with the gift that he thought I’d like.  It was a quill for writing.  However, he neglected to give me any ink for it, so it was useless.  He knows that I write blogs and assumed that I enjoyed writing without a computer, which isn’t correct.  He obviously put some thought behind it, so I pretended to like it anyway.

Sunday December 25
We went to my mom’s house for Christmas.  They were very generous, especially for me.  I got a lot of very nice gifts.  They were also very generous to Kyle and gave him several presents as well.  It was a small gathering because both sisters were celebrating with their in-laws, but it was nice.  I was tired and feeling off anyway.  I did enjoy myself, but I think I did more than usual because it was a small, quiet gathering.

Monday December 26Friday December 30
I was feeling nauseous, tired, and dizzy for the majority of this week.  I had some bad brain fog too.  I had a to-do list for this week, but I didn’t even manage to do a single thing on the list.  My mind was working slowly.  I couldn’t work on knitting or read a book.  I haven’t finished either pregnancy book because I haven’t been able to concentrate or focus on it.  I read as far as the 8th month, so hopefully this brain fog goes away by then.

My middle sister called me to let me know that she’s planning my baby shower and asked what I wanted.  I hadn’t been to a baby shower since I was a little kid.  I had no idea what happened at them or what sorts of things were expected to happen.  I simply asked that we made it co-ed.  Both Kyle and I have a lot of male friends, so I thought it would be nice if they were made to feel welcome.  She also asked for names and addresses of everyone I wanted to come.  I told her that I would be announcing the pregnancy around week 13 and that I’d make sure to get the names, phone numbers, and addresses of everyone who I would want to invite.

On that same note, I sat down with my mom as a guide and completed my baby registry.  I just hoped that I managed to include everything that we’d actually need for the baby.  I didn’t include any toys, assuming that people would include toys regardless of whether or not we asked for them.

I went in for my NIPT on Wednesday and was told I’d receive a phone call in 10 days with the results.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the test, it’s recommended with “high risk pregnancies” like mine.  They draw blood, separate the baby’s DNA from mine, and check it for chromosomal abnormalities.  It’s 99% accurate.  I don’t feel like anything in particular is wrong with the baby, but I’d like confirmation to know for sure!

Pregnancy Week 9

Saturday December 17
I got nothing accomplished today. I spent my day laying on the couch, watching movies, and napping. I can’t wait for my first trimester to be over. It’s a good thing I’ve always wanted kids, because feeling this poorly might otherwise make me tempted to end things. I doubt I still would, but I feel like I can’t even think straight with the nausea, extreme fatigue, and light-headedness.

Sunday December 18
I forced myself to go out and run errands. I managed to finally get a hold of Linda. She had some books of mine I wanted back. We hung out, but she seemed much more sedated than usual. She also never explained her absence, even though months ago she claimed she would explain everything when I see her in person. I debated throughout the conversation whether or not to tell her about my pregnancy. I chose to. It was a good thing I did because my head started feeling really “off” all of a sudden. She suggested a few mineral deficiencies that I might want to look into.

I researched some of them and the magnesium seemed to fit my symptoms. I went out and bought a supplement willing to give it a try. I did some further research and discovered that it’s a common deficiency with people who suffer from hypothyroidism. Apparently, the body uses magnesium to convert the T4 into T3. If I don’t have enough magnesium, I don’t have enough T3, which is why I felt better with a medication that contained both T4 and T3. Why the hell didn’t my endocrinologist tell me this? Or test me for this? If I can find the information, why couldn’t she!?

I also acquired some more energy later in the day and decided to go shopping for maternity clothes.  I knew nothing about them, so some of my questions probably seemed pretty weird.  I asked if the clothes would last throughout the whole pregnancy or if I needed to level up to bigger clothes as I got bigger.  They said the clothes would accommodate the whole pregnancy.  I had only intended to get two nice dresses including one for the ceremony on Friday.  I walked away with a whole maternity wardrobe.  I had 5 dresses and one shirt and four pairs of leggings.  I supposed I’d need it anyway.  And my clothes were already starting to get too tight.  It’s too early to show, so I guessed that I just must be gaining weight.

Monday December 19
Thankfully, with all of the holidays coming up, I had an easy schedule today. Surprisingly though, I felt somewhat better today. I at least had the energy to get through the day without spending my entire classes sitting down. I could actually get up and circulate the room a bit.

Tuesday, December 20
I had another easy day today. I was still feeling better with more energy. Clearly the magnesium is working. I am really annoyed with my endocrinologist for either not knowing or not recommending the magnesium. It’s entirely possible it’s a pregnancy thing, but then wouldn’t my gynecologist be the one who should know? Either way, I’m glad I know now and annoyed that I didn’t know sooner.

Of course, at the last minute, my principal cornered me and told me I needed to decorate the school and the auditorium for the winter concert tomorrow. I ended up staying really late at work to get it done. By the time I got home, I went right to sleep.

Wednesday, December 21
Today was another long day at work. My students were clearly already in vacation mode, at least they were acting pretty crazily in class. Then during my free periods, my principal came and critiqued the decorations that I stayed so late to make and put up yesterday. I spent a fair amount of time “fixing” them today. Then, it is required of all the teachers to stay and help out with the concert at night. It was just two nights in a row staying late at work and I was exhausted.

When I got home, I fell into bed and went right to sleep again.

Thursday December 22
I was exhausted today. I had my students do color by numbers and free-draws during class today. That left me free to sit at my desk and just watch them. I think I nodded off a couple of times, but thankfully, I don’t think that any of them noticed. I couldn’t wait until the day was over so I could just go home and go to sleep.

I told a couple of people that my boyfriend and I had decided to get married over the break. I decided that faking a marriage was probably the best bet at saving my job. My boyfriend agreed. We even staged a ceremony for tomorrow where we just pledged to stay together for the next year. I could handle that kind of a commitment at least! However, the music teacher seemed remarkably astute. She also told me that I look pregnant. To cover, I asked if she was calling me fat. I figured that would make her shut up. Instead, she told me that I was glowing.   I told her it was my makeup (I often use makeup to cover the fact that I’m tired and have circles under my eyes). When she heard that I was getting married, she said she would start a collection for a gift card for us. She’s smart because that’s the best way to circulate the knowledge without having to do it directly myself. That would avoid a lot of awkward questions as well. I’m glad she was so smart and felt bad for lying, but I have to protect my job.

Even though I got home from work at 4:30pm, I went to bed and didn’t wake up again until the next morning.

Friday December 23
When I woke up, I was still tired, but I had many things to do. I had scheduled an oil change for my car. Kyle and I had to pick up a few props for our “wedding” later. I had bought a nice dress, but today I had appointments to do my hair and my nails. We had also bought some cheap rings on with the idea that if we really got married in the future, we’d upgrade the rings. For a fake marriage, we really put in a lot of work.

We had a few friends and my mom and step-dad there. We pledged to stay together for the next year and a bunch of other things about working out our problems, not being quick to anger, and that we would part as friends if it didn’t work out. All in all, it was a good ceremony, presided over by Rebecca, who can legally marry people. We celebrated and then went home and slept.

Pregnancy Week 8

Saturday December 10
I awoke much earlier than I wanted to.  I had hoped to be able to sleep in and catch up on sleep.  I was awake at 7am.  I didn’t feel like moving.  I tried to get back to sleep.  Then I played on my phone for a few hours.  I got up and managed to take care of all of the grading that I had put off for a few weeks.  I showered and brushed my teeth.  I dropped Kyle off at work and took a nap for a few hours.  Then I spent a few hours wrapping all of my presents for the holidays.

I was so hungry that by the time I picked up Kyle from work, I bought a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and tomato.  It was SO TASTY!!! I shouldn’t have eaten it though because the bacon probably had nitrates in it.  I hope it won’t be a problem with just eating it the once, but I was SO HUNGRY!  I also bought some nitrate-free bacon and bread to make my own BLT or maybe even a similar sandwich.

I was feeling happy that I managed to get a lot done despite my nausea and lack of energy!

Sunday December 11
I awoke early again, but felt much worse. I didn’t have the energy to do anything.  I spent the morning napping on and off on the couch.  I had meant to do laundry and prep food for the week, but I hadn’t accomplished any of it.  I left for a gathering of friends an hour away.  On the way, I stopped at an Indian grocery store.  There I found chai ginger tea.  The ingredients were: skim milk, sugar, tea, and ginger.  I was so excited!  There is a negligible amount of caffeine in the tea, but if I stuck to one a day, I should be fine!

I told that group of friends about being pregnant and my work dilemma. They suggested that my boyfriend and I stage a wedding or make some kind of vow to stay together for a specified period of time.  It was a good idea.  We put some plans into place and hopefully it should happen on December 23rd.

Monday December 12
I was so tired and out of it that I spent my whole day in a daze.  I can’t even remember what I did at work or when I got home.

Tuesday December 13
I woke up this morning, still tired and out of it. I felt nauseous and out of-it when I got up. However, as my day progress, despite my tiredness, I no longer felt the horrible fatigue. I was slowly able to get things done today. I didn’t find myself fighting sleep on the way home. I was able to smile at Kyle when I saw him. He noticed the difference immediately and we were both glad that I was feeling better. According to the things I read, the first trimester symptoms typically don’t go away until the second trimester, but I was very happy the extreme fatigue was gone, at least for one day.

Wednesday December 14
I felt pretty good again today. I was glad because I had a crazy day at work. I also saw my gynecologist as well. I got to ask my questions. She recommended another endocrinologist. I asked about the constant nausea and extreme fatigue. She said it was all normal and that my body was working to make a baby human. Since I felt better again, I didn’t push the issue, but I couldn’t imagine that the fatigue I had been feeling was normal.

She also did one of those trans-vaginal ultrasound. It was able to give me a good look at the baby. It was small and looked like a blob, obviously, but in one brief moment, I saw a face. It suddenly became real. I have a baby human inside of me. And a sense of relief that everything was okay with the baby. I also got to hear the heartbeat. It was fast and strong with 160 beats per minute. It increased my relief. With a good heartbeat, my chance of miscarriage goes way down. They printed a picture of my ultrasound, but the picture was grainy and really didn’t look like much of anything. The baby looks like a blob.

But at least I had a picture. I posted it on a secret Facebook group I created for family and friends. They were all happy to see it, even though, in my opinion, there wasn’t anything much to see.

Thursday December 15
I awoke and found that my fatigue had returned. My boyfriend had suggested that it had to do with the food I ate the last two days. It seemed overwhelming to check on everything I had eaten. And how would I even check for that stuff. I dragged myself through the day and went to bed as soon as I got home.

Friday December 16
I felt absolutely horrible today. My head was spinning so much that I had to walk slowly just to keep from throwing up. Thankfully, a bad bug was going around the Kindergarten, so I played up the symptoms that I knew went with that bug. There were some classes that I had to see to help them finish their holiday presents. Once I saw those classes, I went home early. I couldn’t help it. I was feeling too poorly to handle the remaining three classes that I was supposed to see today. I looked it up and all of these things are normal in the first trimester of pregnancy, but why does it feel like I’m on the extreme end of it?

I went home and fell asleep. I slept on and off throughout the rest of the day and slept through the night.