Monday September 26, 2016


I awoke in an oddly good mood, considering I dreamed about my dead cat. I used to have a cat a few years ago that I loved dearly. I still get sad when I think about her. She was a very sweet and loving creature. I woke up thinking that I needed to become like her if I wanted to be loved. But I don’t want to be loved. Not by anybody that’s not my family and Kyle. And they already love me. Sure some friends nearby would be nice, but I’m not even sure I’d have time for them anyway. I also awoke particularly motivated. I cleaned the cat pee off the floor of the bathroom (again), showered, packed my lunch, and managed to leave with plenty of time to spare.

On my drive to work I started scratching my neck again. This time, I could feel bumps all over it. When I got to work, it seemed to be spreading. I started to get worried about it, took a sick day, and drove to the nearest urgent care center. They told me I had bed bugs. I couldn’t figure out when/where I had the bed buts. I slept on Kyle’s futon mattress when we were camping and my bed at home. I started itching on Sunday morning, but Kyle hasn’t had any itching or a rash. They prescribed me stuff, but I wasn’t really terribly sure I believed them. Nonetheless, I took everything to the Laundromat and washed it, just in case.

Then I saw my doctor because I had some other issues I was concerned about. I have been having pain extending from my neck and down my shoulder blade. Also, my last two periods only lasted two days. I was concerned that I was starting menopause early, for whatever reason. My doctor was less than helpful. He did state that it was too soon to tell if my rash was from bedbugs or not.   He said it was just as likely to be an allergy and didn’t seem overly concerned about it. He suggested Claritin during the day and Benedryl at night. I refused to take Benedryl unless it was mortally necessary, due to some of the side effects it has on me. He tried to refer me to a specialist for my shoulder pain. He felt my muscles and said nothing seemed tight and ordered me to take an x-ray. He also ordered some blood work to determine if I was having an allergic reaction and if there were problems with my hormones (for my period problems). He also referred me to a gynecologist.

I went to the lab to get blood drawn. However, when I got to the x-ray people, they were concerned because there was a chance that I might be pregnant. They sent me back up to my doctor’s office. Feeling a bit weird telling the receptionist that I needed a pregnancy test within earshot of the entire waiting room, I told her that the x-ray people sent me back because I needed to get an additional test. I thought that would suffice. After waiting an hour, someone came out and said that they’d notify me of my test results. If they were abnormal, they’d call, if they were normal, they’d mail them. Then I swallowed my pride and told them directly that the x-ray people insisted that I take a pregnancy test before they would do my x-ray. I was made to wait for 15 more minutes, peed in a cup, was declared negative, and sent back to the x-ray people. They x-rayed me.

I picked up some food on the way home, bought some Claratin, drove home, and went to sleep. I felt like my “day off” was wasted between doctors appointments, tests, and laundry.


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