Honestly, any time fighting depression seems like a long time. Slowly but surely I have been making breakthroughs in both my depression and my self-development. I always tried to be better than the person I was. I have read self-help books for everything. Some books worked well and others didn’t. I have read different diet and exercise books, de-cluttering books, books to improve my relationships, books to show me the way to be closer to God, books to show me how to be spiritual without God, books on mastering money and paying my debts, books to find happiness, be more assertive, to sell things, to be more creative, to find my true self. I have read enough of these self-help books to give you the formula for a self-help book. First, the author explains how he/she had this problem and how it was affecting his/her life. Then the author explains why it is a problem and why you need the book. Then there will be a number of studies referenced along with a few brief nuggets of wisdom and knowledge to leave you wanting more. Then about 3/4 through the book, there will be their breakthrough, their method to help make your life better.
On December 31st, 2014, I had an epiphany. Most of these books contain a lot of wasted space and each book just focused on one topic. I decided that I was going to write a self-help book that focuses on many topics of self-improvement. However, I was a very poor model for such a book. My life was far from perfect. On New Years Day I was dumped by my boyfriend of 1 year. It threw me into a depressive state. I was miserable. As I reflected on all of the things that were bad in my life, I started to wonder if what remains of my depression is all external things or if I simply have something wrong with the chemicals in my brain. I decided to spend a year improving myself focusing on a different aspect of my life each month. I thought that if my depression was caused by external things or my reaction to the external things, if I improve those areas of my life, my depression will go away. I will include my experiences in the book so my readers can see how much of a difference I was truly able to make in my life! At the beginning of each month, I also will include several plans for people to choose from based on the focus of the month, since there is no one plan that will fit everyone.
In this blog you will find my experiences as I try to follow each months focus, some better than others. My year is now over and I’m working on writing my book.
Update: I was doing so well that I decided to stop taking my depression supplements. I dislike being dependent on pills for anything, these pills caused birth defects, and I still held onto the hope of one day having kids someday. The initial withdrawal symptoms included depression like I hadn’t experienced in year. I decided to revitalize my blog to see if I could use the same steps to find happiness, but this time without the pills.
Then I found out I was pregnant and now am blogging about my adventures in pregnancy.
This blog, and eventually this book will be anonymous. Because I am a teacher, I am very much in the public eye. In this blog, I share many personal experiences and feelings that would be looked down-upon by parents and administrators. If my identity were to become known, I would be fired and my job prospects would become grim. I have changed the names of everyone mentioned in this blog and enough details to make it difficult to figure out who I am. Please just enjoy the content and avoid being too curious about who I am. Thanks!