Saturday, May 20, 2017
I woke up early to get my car to the mechanic. I had finally saved up enough money to get the part that I needed. It took them the better part of the morning to install it, but I didn’t care. It was going to be done! The lack of the “check engine” light was a beautiful sight as I drove home! Afterwards, I was so tired I needed a nap. Then we got up and did laundry. I know all of that stuff needed to be done, but I feel like I never get any time to do what I want to do or even need to do. I’m probably just tired and over-emotional though.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
I woke up early again. The plan for today was to go to my mom’s house and do the remainder of the washing of baby stuff before meeting up with some friends. On my way there, the “check engine” light came back on. I felt very despondent. In addition, it took too long to do all of the laundry so I ended up having to drive a half hour to visit my friends and then a half hour back to my mom’s afterwards. I was tired and starting to feel burned out. When I confided this to Rebecca, she told me I better get used to it because it’s only going to get worse when the baby comes. While there is some truth to what she said, it hurt my feelings nonetheless. By the time I got home, Kyle was really sweet about how much he missed me throughout the day. He had cleaned the whole apartment and it looked really nice. I spent a little quality time with him before falling asleep.
Monday, May 22, 2017
When I woke up my cold was worse, but I had to go to work today. Tonight was the concert and my art show. The concert really had nothing to do with me, except for the fact that my school has a tradition of having art shows on the same night. I still had a lot of pictures to mount and hang. They also make a big show of thanking me for the things I do at the concert. I pushed myself to get it all done. The nurse let me sleep in the cot in her room between the end of school and the concert. I slept for two hours, ate dinner, got thanked at the concert, and promptly went home and went to bed.
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017
I had to drag myself out of bed today. I had a difficult time staying upright when standing. I’m not sure if it was my pregnancy making me light-headed or if my cold was getting worse. My voice had become a croak. I could speak, but my voice was significantly lower and I couldn’t talk loudly. About halfway through the day, I decided to go home and sleep. I just couldn’t stay awake anymore. My boss could see how worn and poorly I looked.
When I got home, I fell asleep. When I woke up, Kyle insisted that I go to the local urgent care. I honestly expected them to tell me what I thought I already knew; that I had a bad cold. Or maybe accuse me of having allergies. Instead, I found out that my temperature was elevated and they recommended antibiotics. We picked up the prescription, I called in sick for work tomorrow, and went to sleep.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Even though I had already called in last night, I didn’t sleep very late. I got up early, wandered around a bit, then laid back down to sleep some more. I got distracted with a few things and didn’t end up going back to sleep until 10 or 11. Then I slept 4 or 5 more hours. I must have needed it! When I got up, Kyle kept asking me for help with various projects he was working on. They didn’t really require much effort on my part, just another pair of hands. I also finished reading “Childbirth Without Fear”. It was written a long time ago and there were a few sections that were antiquated. Otherwise, it really did help me conquer my fear of childbirth! It was a tough read though. It was partially due to anachronistic language and partially due to pregnancy brain.
I tried to make myself relax and get as much rest as possible, but it was difficult. I suppose that’s a good sign that I’m starting to feel better!
Thursday, May 25, 2017
I wasn’t sure I was ready to return to work. I knew that I had to go in, but I wasn’t ready to. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle working the whole day, plus helping out with an after school program like I had agreed to. I did feel significantly better. My cough was almost gone and my voice was back to normal. However, once I reached lunch time, my exhaustion caught up with me. I was really tired. I dragged myself through the final classes. Afterwards, I was chatting with a coworker who told me that the music teacher was fired. She didn’t have the details, but she had apparently pissed off a parent. I know what that’s like. However, I had always thought of her as an institution there. She wasn’t tenured because she was part-time. I felt for her. I also privately told myself I should really buckle down in my job search becase I didn’t want to get stuck in a similar situation. She would be back tomorrow and when she decided to tell me, I had to look surprised. I never was very good at making my face show emotions that I wasn’t feeling. I would do my best though!
By the time I got home, I just wanted to go to sleep. Kyle basically ordered me to lie down and relax. I made sure to do a few things that needed to be done (like take my antibiotics) first. He cooked us dinner. We watched the latest installment of a television drama we had been watching while we ate. We then laid down and had some intimate time. Even though I’m not terribly interested in anything sexual, apparently it didn’t change the fact that I like pleasing him from time to time. He was worried that I wouldn’t get enough sleep for tomorrow. I told him that I really didn’t have a whole lot to do with our half day. I guess that’s all it took to convince him!
Friday May 26, 2017
I awoke a bit late today, but it wasn’t a big deal. Everything was ready to go and I didn’t have much to do. We had a half day at work, but the kids were nuts. I mentioned to a coworker that I was taking antibiotics and she asked if they were safe to take while pregnant. I had assumed so since I couldn’t fathom why a doctor would give me them otherwise. I started to worry. Then I started to worry. I didn’t think I felt the baby move much today. Was there a problem with him? Was he just sleeping? Was I just being paranoid. I spent about two hours wondering and waiting before I felt some movement. It was still a small movement, so I hoped everything was okay. I kept telling myself that I was just being paranoid.
I took my car to the mechanic (again). I’m really getting sick of having to get it fixed. I know that it’s old and the mileage is quite high, so it needed to be done. I just wanted to get it done already! I spent over $1,000, a lot of the money my dad gave us for the baby. However, he’s going to need a safe car to ride in, so I suppose the argument could be made for it.
All week, my lower belly has been weighing more heavily. Now it’s starting to get sore when it’s weighed down by gravity. My belly is oddly shaped and covered in stretch marks. I feel more like an overweight man than a pregnant woman at this point. I had stretch marks on my lower belly for months, but now I have acquired them on my upper belly and hips too. It is by no means the pretty perfect pregnant belly that people see on TV and movies. My belly is even more oblong than it is rounded. At this point, I don’t care, so long as it does its job and brings a healthy baby into this world. I do worry a little about the stretch marks. I am still holding onto the idea/hope that I’ll be able to lose the baby weight plus the extra weight I’ve been trying to lose since before I got pregnant. Kyle has also promised to help support me in this goal by allowing me an hour of workout time every day if I would do the same for him. Well, we’ll see!