Saturday December 31
Kyle and I drove several states away to pick up his remaining belongings from his ex. The drive was long and I was very annoyed that everything wasn’t ready to go when we arrived. Then his ex tried to dicker about what things of his she wanted to keep when it was pretty clear what belonged to him and what belonged to her. My annoyance showed, so I pretty much stood further away from everyone and just waited for them to finish. I found out later that they had inquired why I was so angry and Kyle lied for me. I was initially very angry that he felt that he had to lie for my behavior. I wondered if I should be worried about my behavior to them, but realized that I cared too little about them to care that I treated them poorly. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.
After thinking about it longer, I realized that Kyle lying to them was actually a good thing. It wasn’t that he cared about their opinion of me, but the fact that he’s truthful to me and not to them made me feel better. I was in a bad mood and I started getting really annoyed that with the long drive and everything that Kyle had not expressed his gratitude for the long drive, me taking him out for lunch, etc. He also spent a lot of the trip complaining about various things like where I decided to stop for gas (when he was asleep and therefore unable to even give an opinion on the subject). We ended the day on a good note, somehow. He apologized for complaining a lot and thanked me for driving all that much and for the lunch.
Sunday January 1
I went over the Rachel’s house and hung out with several friends there. We talked about about my pregnancy and I managed to get all of their addresses for the baby shower. I was still tired and feeling off. While everyone brought food with them, there were only two things I really wanted to eat. And I couldn’t stop eating those two things!
I went to my mom’s house afterwards. My youngest sister, her daughter, and her husband were there. We exchanged gifts and ate dinner together. My youngest sister is expecting her second child. We told her daughter that she was going to have a cousin. She is so adorable! She pointed to my belly and asked if I had a baby in there. I told her I did, but that my baby would be coming after her mommy’s baby.
I had a good time, but it took a lot of energy out of me. Will I even have energy and feel un-nauseous and un-dizzy again!?
Monday January 2
I spent the entire day on the couch. I sort of watched some movies, but I mostly just drifted in and out of sleep throughout the day. I really accomplished very little over the break other than just taking it easy and resting. Am I going to be capable of going back to work?
Tuesday January 3
I tried very hard to go to bed early last night, but it didn’t happen. I must have slept too much during the day yesterday. Eventually, I managed to drag myself to work, but I was really tired. I did the best I could with my classes and made it through the day. I also did my best to make sure to eat two crackers every hour. I did a pretty good job and it helped a bit with the nausea. I showed a documentary to one of my older classes who was learning about art history and I fell asleep. Thankfully the kids didn’t notice! As soon as I got home, I went right to sleep.
Wednesday January 4
I was tired throughout the day today. I had an easier day so it was okay that I wasn’t feeling too well. I couldn’t stand for long periods of time without feeling dizzy, so I had made sure to plan my lessons accordingly. It mostly worked out. Again, I fell asleep as soon as I got home. I really miss being able to do something when I get home. Well, I’m at the end of my first trimester, so this shouldn’t last for too much longer. I hope.
Thursday January 5
Today I was really worried about getting through the day. I had seven classes, mostly with my tougher classes. Then I had a rehearsal for my annual dance production. I was really worried about getting through my classes today and then having energy to go through choreography with my students. Somehow, I’m not sure how, I managed. I even found a moment to take a break and eat a few crackers. By the time I drove home, though, I felt so exhausted that I was concerned about my ability to actually drive without falling asleep.
Friday January 6
This felt like one of the longest work weeks of my life and it was only four days long! I was counting the minutes just waiting to get out of there. Eventually, finally, the moment arrived when I could go home and sleep! And so I did.