Saturday September 17, 2016

 

I awoke with a feeling of pain in my heart. Logically, I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s not like Kyle actually cheated on me. Maybe it’s the fact that it even got so far as conversation. Or maybe kissing. He didn’t actually say he didn’t kiss her. He just said he didn’t cheat. Maybe that meant he didn’t have sex with her. When he woke up, I asked him. He didn’t kiss her. She’s the one that brought it up and it was his idea that they shouldn’t. He also made me promise that I wouldn’t hold it against her. How could I not hold it against her!? She was trying to sleep with my boyfriend! He also mentioned that they were very enebriated and that if he had been single he would have done it. For some reason this was another stab to the heart, though I’m not sure why. I should be flattered that he would have if I wasn’t around, but he didn’t. For some reason, it only made it worse. However, the fact that she was the one who brought up the subject and he was the one who said “no” combatted it. Eventually, I managed to calm down enough to cuddle with him. I was also flattered that someone who had told me that he had cheated on many of the women that he dated was trying very hard not only to not cheat on me, bit to be honest with me about everything. The fact that he thinks I’m not worth cheating on and not throwing away just to have one night with someone else really helps. He also mentioned that he did it for kind of a cheap thrill, but because he gets the sexual variety that he craves with one person (yeah, we experiment a lot), that he has no real need to cheat.

I dropped Kyle off of work today and I spent the time working on catching up on my blog. I had finally typed it all up, but didn’t get a chance to input them onto the blog online yet. I picked him up and he wanted to go to visit friends of his. It’s not like I dislike the friends of his, far from it. It’s just that I’d get to see him so little over this weekend that I ‘referred to spend the time with him alone. We picked up some takeout and hung out with his friends. It was a bit awkward because one of them tends to have no verbal filter and the other tends to say stupid things, which his wife berates him for, in front of everybody. We had a good enough time hanging out there.

I’m not sure what time we got back, but we cuddled and I fell asleep on his chest.

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