Thursday August 4, 2016

I awoke at 4:30 with severe back pain.  I stopped at the nearest gas station and bought painkillers and a ton of water.  I could barely get in and out of my car, the pain was so bad.  I arrived at Kyle’s place around 7:30 and called him.  He came out to meet me as I struggled to just get out of the car.  Somehow, he looked different somehow.  Abstract.  I put it to the back of my mind because of the back pain.

Because of my attempts at hydration, I had to pee.  My back hurt so badly that a jolt of pain hit me when I was at the halfway point of sitting on the seat.  I fell the rest of the way.  Then when I was done, it took a ridiculous amount of time to stand up.  I tried to get up.  Halfway, a jolt of pain hit and I collapsed back on the seat, crying tears of pain and frustration.  I managed to use my arms to pull myself up by holding onto a wainscotting ledge on one side and the sink on the other.  This time, when the jolt of pain hit me, my arms held me up.  I walked back to Kyle’s bedroom and told him what happened.

It was maybe another hour before I had to pee again.  I went through a similar issue in the bathroom again.   My pain had NEVER been this bad before.  I started considering talking to a doctor.  We had sex.  It was very gentle.  I’m not sure if it was the sex, the hydration, or the painkillers kicking in, but my back started to feel better.

I had to drop Kyle off at work, so I got my oil changed and did some laundry.  When we got back to his place, I apparently was going to be helping him move.  He was planning on moving in with Aaron, but I didn’t realize that it would be happening today.  His cousin was coming over with his truck, but was running late.  I helped as much as I could, moving things from his room to the porch, but there were still plenty of things I couldn’t do.  Finally his cousin came.  Then we discovered that we’d need to put some stuff in my car too.  So we drove there, unloaded Kyle’s stuff in Aaron’s living room, and drove back.  We were both ravenously hungry by this time.  We got something to eat, had sex, then went to sleep.

Relationship – yes

Meditation – no

Mood – depressed/frustrated

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