Tuesday July 19, 2016

I awoke in an odd state of mind. I was a bit sad from the day before. Maybe I should just count Kyle out. I played around on my phone, checked Facebook, etc. Then Jeff texted me to try and find a time and day to get together, trade massages, and have sex. We discussed what he wanted to do and made plans for Thursday afternoon. It seemed okay considering everything that had happened with Kyle yesterday. I was still hurt and disappointed. I hung out with Brianne some more. She was honestly pretty dull to hang out with. She had pain management problems so she was pretty doped up. I tried my best to be fun to be around, but I was seriously losing energy by noon. Her husband cooked us another meal that messed up my diet. My stomach was not happy with the food I had there. We had hot dogs and deep fried potatoes. After lunch, I thanked them for their hospitality, hugged Brianne, and left.

I drove about an hour to Jenn’s house. I didn’t see much change in her. Then we started talking. She’s now on disability with fibromyalgia and anxiety issues. Then she continued on to say how she doesn’t understand how anybody could afford an apartment just through regular work. The way she was talking, it made it seem like she chose not to work. I am, by no means, saying anything bad about fibromyalgia sufferers. I have some friends that suffer from it. I don’t, however, think Jenn had it. Firstly, most fibro sufferers that I know have a constant pain in many places. Jenn stated that she only really experienced hers in her hips. It didn’t seem particularly debilitating because we took a long walk, on her insistence.

Basically, Jenn was bored and lonely. She enjoyed my company, even though I really had very little energy left after my morning with Brianne. I took her out to eat and to the movies, since I knew she had limited funds. When we got out of the movies, I checked my phone and saw that Kyle had messaged me. He assumed that I was already asleep, but I messaged him back. He was having more issues with his living situation. I tried to calm him down and we chatted on and off throughout the night while Jenn and I watched TV. Not long after Kyle and I said good night, I fell asleep watching TV.

Relationships – yes

Meditation – yes

Mood – down


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