Wednesday June 15, 2016

I again hit the snooze for a very long time today.  I got nothing done yesterday.  I hoped to get a bunch of things done after work today. I didn’t have any classes today, so I spent the day working to get my classroom ready for the end of the year.  My principal had given us long to-do lists to complete before we were done for the year.  I figured I may as well get as much done as possible.  I put on some music and sang along while I worked since there were no students in my part of the building today. I had so many art supplies to go through and organize.  I had to wash all the paint out of the paint brushes and see which ones were salvageable for next year.  There was just so much to do.  And I really didn’t feel like doing a lot of it since my job was cut back next year.  I was in the middle of all of this when I got called into the principal’s office.

My first reaction was “What did I do?” I wondered if my music was too loud, if my singing was too annoying, or there was something else I did wrong.  When I got in there, she told me that they had managed to get funding and I would be back there working full time next year!  Oddly, this news didn’t make me happy.  I’m not sure if I was in shock or what.  One of my coworkers, Mary, who only works with me part-time, stopped by my room to chat.  I told her all about Carl.  I didn’t feel particularly when trying to explain about him, but she told me that I was positively glowing while talking about him. And she asked me to keep her updated about any developments with him.  We also talked about possibly hanging out over the summer.  I was very much looking forward to having a friend at work.

I got home with every intention of making my food for the diet that I’m supposed to be following.  My meat would be going bad soon and some of my vegetables had already withered. I decided to take a nap.  I was awoken by my mom calling me on the phone.  I don’t remember quite what we talked about.  I tried to go back to sleep, but then an acquaintance of mine, Kyle,  who was in a bad place sent me a Facebook message.  He is suffering from a broken heart.  He was in a really bad place, emotionally.  I talked to him for a while and tried to help him out with what wisdom I could.  I knew him because we have mutual friends in that big camping/hiking event I go to each year.  We both complained that we would both like to better hikers.  He lives over 5 hours away, but we eventually realized that we both wanted to lose weight and get out there (hiking) more.

I was going back and forth between messaging with Kyle and Carl.  And Carl had something come up preventing him from seeing me on Sunday.  I was excessively disappointed. Because I had seen him three times and this was the third time he was cancelling on me, I wondered if there was a reason or if he really just didn’t have the time for me.  I’m not sure where I got the nerve to do so, but I told him maybe he was too busy to be able to spend time with me since this seems to be an ongoing problem.  Seriously, if he can’t see me once a week and something always comes up, then what’s the point?  I have been looking forward all week until Sunday and now all that would have to change.  He responded by saying that he would find a way to make time for me.  He didn’t state how, but it was comforting that he thought I was important enough to make time for.

Kyle and I decided to be long-distance workout buddies.  We would help to keep each other motivated and accountable.  We spent the next hour working out the details and we still haven’t finished all of them. Carl and I continued to chat a little, but it felt different.  I think Carl fell asleep while chatting with me.  I still got to bed later than I intended, but at least I had managed to get a nap in first.

Mood – varied

Meditation – none


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