Tuesday June 7, 2016

I somehow managed to wake up 5 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off because my alarm never went off.  All I could think of was how it would feel being wrapped in Carl’s arms in the water.  I couldn’t focus on anything I had to do this morning.  I got very little done.  I really wanted a cigarette, but when I tried smoking one, I didn’t want it after all.  I barely made it to work on time, but it didn’t really matter.

I spent most of my day with no classes due to finals or weird schedules that nobody had informed me of.  I spent a while chatting with my friend Aaron about my weird feeling and intuition about Carl.  Carl, on the other hand, wasn’t all that talkative.  I figured he was just busy at work, but he didn’t even chat much in the evening.  Again, I started wondering if I was being an idiot for liking him.  I started wondering if he wasn’t interested in only me.  Or something.  I hate how my perceptions change with my emotions.  But then again, at the beginning of every relationship, there is always a level of uncertainty.  If the beginning of a relationship is even what this is.

I started thinking about it and have decided to let him be the one who initiates the conversations tomorrow.  It will work out well because it will likely be a busy day for me anyway.

 

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