Thursday, May 26, 2016

Diego and I awoke in each others’ arms. He had tried to wake me up a few times to have sex with me. Each time I firmly said “no” and rolled over, so there could be no mistaking my meaning. Finally around 4:30am I had managed to wake without danger of going back to sleep. He immediately started kissing me and tried to get on top of me. I told him I still didn’t want sex. He again told me we should separate. He asked me if I would be better off without him. While, logically, I thought I would, I also started crying again because I knew how much I would miss him. I didn’t give him a straight answer, but the end of the morning conversation resulted in me being very late for work and that he would wait until the 6-8 week withdrawal period was over.

I explained as much as I could to Carl over Facebook messenger. He really seemed to be pushing me to break up with Diego. He was right in almost every particular, but I was just too tired to argue or even think about it. When I got to work, I was exhausted. I didn’t get enough sleep and the fact that my eyes were red from crying also made me want to close them at various intervals throughout the day. The day wasn’t that bad, as far as days are concerned. Nonetheless, I was happy for the end of the day when I could go to bed and catch up on sleep. I napped for about a half hour when my phone rang several times. I missed two calls from Diego, but picked up the third time he video called me. He wanted to see me. He could tell I was half awake and finally realized that I was falling asleep while talking to him, so he very abruptly let me go.

I awoke about an hour and a half later. I got something to eat and tried to work on my resume for a job that a friend told me was hiring for two days a week, the exact amount my position had been cut at my school. I couldn’t focus on the resume and cover letter, so I chatted a bit more with Carl before saying “good night”.

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