January 16, 2016

I awoke with Diego next to me. I had dreamed of him, but the dreams were incoherent.  We had sex and went back to sleep.  Oddly, most of what had happened last night had faded in my memory.  I still felt like the honeymoon portion of our relationship was over.  I needed time to think.  I still didn’t know what I was going to do or how I was going to act.  When I awoke again, I had a sore throat.  I made myself a tea with lemon and honey, but it didn’t help.  We had sex again, but it wasn’t as much fun, especially for me.  When I got up, I wasn’t feeling well.  I stumbled over my furniture and was feeling nauseous.  I drove him home and ate a good breakfast, for once.  I sat and stared blankly at my phone for a long time, trying to get myself going for the day.

Finally, a number of hours later, I dragged myself to the laundromat.  I managed to get my lessons planned for the next week and sent out some work e-mails.  As I was almost finished, Diego called.  He was home and was ready for me to pick him up to look at those cars.  What he didn’t know was that I had friends in that city and I had arranged to meet up with them at a restaurant.

We looked at two different cars.  He bought the second one.  Something struck me as not right about it.  The car looked and acted good, but the way the seller immediately decided to take his offer or $1600 instead of the selling price of $2200 threw up some red flags.  I looked at the title.  There were no liens or salvage issues.  Diego immediately pulled out the cash before I could say anything about it.  Then the seller offered to lend him some plates so he could drive it home.  We went out to eat, leaving the car there.  I tried to impart my bad feeling to Diego, but I apparently didn’t manage to make an impact.

I was very excited to see Linda and Kevin!  It had been a while and I had missed them!  Diego barely spoke.  I knew he didn’t understand some things and he was also shy.  But what I did not expect was how ill at ease he looked.  I felt bad for him.  It was how badly I felt when he spoke to the people he knew in rapid Spanish, multiplied times 10.  Linda tried to include him in the conversation a few times, but he offered very little in his replies with mostly one-word answers.  Linda also mentioned that I had arranged the meeting in advance, but I hoped Diego didn’t catch it.

We departed and Diego drove his new car back.  He said he’d follow me back.  I was surprised to see him following me up my road.  He thanked me, gave me a kiss, and drove away.  I was very tired, but didn’t feel ready for bed.  I listened to my audio book while working on my knitting when I heard an incoming phone call.  Diego called me to say that the seller didn’t sign the rest of the paperwork for the DMV, just handed it to him.  I honestly didn’t remember or realize that those papers needed to be signed by the seller, just the title.  It had also been eight years since I had bought a car and the seller had taken care of all the paperwork for me.  I still didn’t think that the seller needed to sign anything else to get the car registered or the title transferred, especially because the title was signed.  I offered to take him there tomorrow, but he seemed to think that his friend would do it.  I had expected to feel good for having helped him, but I felt bad instead because it hadn’t worked out. I fell asleep in the middle of knitting a row in my current project.

———————–
Today I gave up the idea that Diego was a straight-forward person.  He had many layers to him.

Today I’m grateful that I got to see my friends, had good sex, and Diego got his car.

I gave Diego a ride to look at cars.

I spent no time in nature.

I spent about $53 on dinner for all of us and $5 on groceries..

I slept for about 8 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I did not follow my diet today.

I did not clean or straighten today.

I was showered but did not brush my teeth today.

I was very tired all day, but I think my mood was good today. My temperament was good.

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