December 30, 2015

I awoke early to pack and leave for my other sister’s house. She lives 4 hours away and only had a small break in her work schedule, so I really didn’t get to see her for very long. I wanted to leave early to make the most of it. I avoided smoking on the trip, but ended up loading up on food instead.

When I got there, we exchanged presents. I loved mine, but she seemed concerned that I spent more than she did. Honestly, I maybe spent $35 on each of them (her and her spouse), so I don’t know what she was concerned about. The two DVDs and book I got had to cost at least $35. But they had more items to open, so I guess that was the concern. I don’t understand the whole idea of gift inequality. Last year I barely bought them anything, mostly regifting what my students bought me. I think we should just spend what we want or what we have and nobody should care. I know I don’t.

We went to the movies and saw the new Star Wars movie. Just a warning, some vague spoilers are ahead. I have a theory that the main protagonist and the main antagonist are twins, but we probably won’t find out until the next movie. We discussed the surprising death scene. We also discussed how parts of the plot seemed to be taken from movies 4, 5, and 6. But we all liked the choice of protagonists, one being black, one being a woman, and we debated whether the third was Hispanic. They thought he was, I didn’t agree.

We got back and were eating Chinese take-out when Diego began texting me. We started discussing our plans for New Years Eve. He didn’t want to take me away from my friends. I explained that they changed the date of their gathering to Friday night (which they did) because I wasn’t the only one to back out. I told him I wanted to do something different. That I was tired of just going to dinner at his cousin’s resturant and watching movies at my apartment. I suggested seeing a movie in the theatre or maybe an arcade. I then had to explain what an arcade was. In the end, we agreed to go to a different resturant for New Years Eve and to an arcade on Saturday.

Our conversation changed to be about sex. He talked about how the richest and most sacred in the world is making love with the person you like. And while I think it’s a beautiful sentiment, I believe there are other beautiful and sacred things that aren’t sex related. Especially when he went on to say that sex was the only thing that made him forget the bad things in his life. Something in that struck a chord with me. I told him that if sex is the only thing that makes him happy, that’s sad. I went on to say that couples should create a connection through conversation, cuddling, sex, and other shared experiences. He then said he had a problem with what I said. After 20 minutes of texts, I finally tried to call him, but he didn’t pick up. I felt sad, upset, and I really wanted a cigarette. He was making food and video-called me when he was done. My sister has a small apartment, so I went  outside to talk. Apparently he thought that I said that talking about sex made me sad! Wow!

It got cold outside, so I took him back inside. I warned him that my sister was in the room. I spoke in Spanish more often than usual, because I knew she wouldn’t understand. He was very amused because I was making sexual references through food in Spanish, but he couldn’t return in kind. We talked about some trivial things for a while. He asked me about smoking and I was proud to say that I hadn’t had a cigarette today!  After we hung up my sister gave me her unasked for opinion on Diego.  She said he sounds really nice, that we really seemed to get each other, and that when he called me “Sweetie” she could tell that he really cares about me. I realized that was the first time he “met” anybody that I really know. It was good to have a second opinion about him. And I was appreciative that it was a positive opinion too!

We hung out and talked for a while longer. We discussed several things. We talked about our exes, Star Wars, Diego, other movies, books, etc. We had both done the same thing for our honeymoon, so we compared notes. I remembered that I hadn’t even had sex on my honeymoon. That my ex-husband was already deeming many other things important than spending time in intimacy with me. Given Diego’s interest in wanting it, possibly too much, I will take that over the not enough that most of my other exes provided.

My sister went to her room to work on something and I quickly drifted off to sleep.

———————–
Today I gave up smoking cigarettes.

Today I’m grateful for getting to spend time with my sister, giving much appreciated presents, and getting to see the Star Wars movie.

I gave gifts.

I spent no time in nature today.

I spent $20 on food.

I slept for about 6 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I did not follow my diet today.

I did not clean or straighten today.

I was not showered or brushed my teeth today.

I was mostly in a good mood today, except for my misunderstanding with Diego. My temperament was good.

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