What now?

As the year is drawing to a close, I feel like my experiment has been a success. While there is still a lot of room for improvement, I feel like my original goal of being happier has been met. It’s true that I still don’t always keep up with my hygiene, my diet, and some of the other goals that I set for myself, but the main goal of being happier has been achieved.

So my question is what do I do now? My original intention was to write a book about my experiences and outline steps to take each month to help other people to hopefully achieve what I have achieved. I still may write that book, but I don’t feel like that will help people enough. I suppose I am being a bit arrogant in assuming that people would listen to me. But since my experiment worked, I wanted to share what I learned with others. I also feel like others will need a way to be held accountable as well as having a support network. That is something that a book cannot do. I am considering creating either a website or Facebook group designed to help other people follow similar steps to help themselves, also with a support network. Is this something that people would be interested in? Please comment and let me know!

Also, I have been debating what I should do with my blog once the year is over. As much as I enjoyed writing about my daily life, there are a number of reasons why I feel like it would be freeing to stop. It’s sometimes been tough to write every day when I felt like I had so much else to do. I find that now as the year is coming to an end, most of my entries got longer. I also felt a little bad about discussing some of the more personal things about my friends, family, and relationships, even though I tried to change enough names and facts to make them difficult to identify. I could still write when I was dealing with something particularly troubling in my life. Or I could write about other things. I found a 30 day blogging challenge that I might attempt. Or I could post memes and articles about each months focus. Again, please comment and let me know what you think and what you’d like to see me write about. I’ll look forward to hearing from all of you!


5 thoughts on “What now?

  1. Hello – I have really enjoyed reading your blog over the year. I have been re-reading some of your posts from earlier in the year and you have indeed made a lot of progress. It is in fact quite commendable that you consistently blogged this entire year. I will miss your daily posts about your life because I feel like I have got to know you through your blog and if you were not anonymous and you lived closer to me (I live on the west coast), I would love to hang out with you and be your friend. I feel particularly touched by many of your posts because I have either gone through or am currently going through a lot of the things you share on here. Here is what I think about future steps – Over this year you have made a lot of progress in a variety of areas – most notably, spiritually you seemed to have grown a lot. However one area that I notice that you may need a lot more growth on (and is not part of your 12 monthly goals) is your romantic relationships with men. Over this year with multiple people, I see a clear pattern of having some doubts initially about people, then falling really hard for them and ignoring your initial intuition, then having a sense of insecurity and almost molding yourself to their needs, followed by more insecurity that you’ve been vulnerable with them, not getting a lot from them about how much you mean to them, giving them the benefit of the doubt over and over again, and then getting let down by them because they either dump you insensitively or tell you that they are no longer interested. In your current relationship, although Diego appears to be a really wonderful man, he does have some rigidity re: his beliefs and his insistence on sex (which can be quite thrilling, but he does not respect your occasional “no”). You are a smart, spiritual, self-aware woman. It is so very sad that these men do not see that and have not treated you with the care and tenderness and respect that you deserve. I would love it if you could continue your blog – maybe not with daily posts if that is too time consuming, but as regularly as you want to about your relationships and how you grow as a person and as a couple in them. I would love to see you feel confident in yourself and not “lose yourself” in relationships. I would like to see you set boundaries with the men you date – which you really haven’t this last year. I would love for you to see yourself as deserving of love and claiming that love for yourself. But whatever you decide to do with your blog, I look forward to more. Many blessings and warm thoughts to you.

    • Thank you for your heartfelt comment! I am glad you have enjoyed and related with my blog over this past year! And thank you for noticing the difference in me and my writing! It means a lot to know I’m not the only one who noticed it!

      While I still have a long way to go with relationships, I feel like I did make some progress. My typical relationship is usually to fall hard and fast very quickly. I rarely am reluctant at the beginning of relationships, unless it’s with a sex-buddy. As far as Diego goes, my initial impression was mistaken because I believed what Juan said about him and that I didn’t know Spanish well enough to understand him. But the fact that I only wanted a boyfriend to keep myself from sleeping with Juan and my reluctance to become his girlfriend was different from my usual pattern. I typically jumped right in in the past, but took things slower with Diego. He also seems to have the same feelings for me as well, which is nice. His rigidity with religious beliefs is admittedly disturbing. We’ll either work through that one or we won’t. As far as his insistence on sex goes, when I give a hard and fast “no”, he does respect it. The rest of the time, he works to get me in the mood and to say yes. And I’m not going to lie, I like that about him.

      Thank you so much for spending the year with me and my crazy life! I will let you know what I end up doing!

  2. Sorry for the delayed response. I discovered your blog about a month ago and have really enjoyed reading about your daily life. I agreed with many of the points made by the other commenter, though I’m aware that you didn’t ask for personal feedback so I won’t offer more. I will just say that I hope you can put yourself first and be truly content as a single, which I think is an important foundation for a relationship.
    I would love it if you could keep up the posts. I guess that you are getting some benefit from writing since you have decided to persevere in the future. Either way I truly wish you the best and commend the hard work you have clearly put into this blog.

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