December 24, 2015

I awoke early with a lot of back pain. The coughing fits I had made my back spasm and hurt horribly. I was almost in tears. Diego awoke wanting sex. I told him my back hurt, so he tried to get me in the mood. Because it was just easier, I had sex with him. It’s not like he coerced me, to my half-awake brain, it just seemed easier. I told him I had to work on my cookies today and that he was welcome to stay. He left.

I got everything done in time to head to my dad’s hotel. We had a gathering of his relatives there. He has a number of brothers and sisters, resulting in many cousins. Many of those cousins have kids, so there were many people there. Many of them asked about Diego, which was kind. My dad made no inquiries, but that’s like him. I suspect he got attached to one or other of my boyfriends and was disappointed when it didn’t work out. During this gathering, Diego and I were texting on and off about getting together later tonight. One of my cousins actually remarked on how happy I seemed! I guess my efforts have been fruitful if it was noticed by family!

When I got home, I had to finish the cookies for my mom’s gathering tomorrow, clean up the mess my cats made, and wrap the remaining presents. I completed everything and looked at the clock. It was 10:30 and I had not heard back from Diego yet. I texted him. It was past 11:00 when he told me he was ready for me to pick him up. I was exhausted and told him I was too tired for sex. He said he wouldn’t come then. I felt angry and hurt. I interpreted his words as meaning that he only wanted to spend time with me if we’re having sex. He clarified it by stating that if I’m tired, we won’t be able to do anything, talk, watch a movie, etc. By the time we cleared that up, it was 11:30 and I was ready for bed. I offered to come and get him, but he was worried that it would be dangerous for me to drive, as tired as I was. I wanted to sleep together, to wake up on Christmas morning in his arms, but realized that I hadn’t finished knitting his scarf yet. I had hoped to complete it at my mom’s house tomorrow. Maybe it would be better to see him tomorrow night.
Today I gave up on taking time to heal my cold to stay late at work.

Today I’m grateful for extended family, getting to see my dad, and giving presents.

I gave presents and cookie platters today.

I spent no time in nature today.

I spent $23 on gas.

I slept for about 6 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I did not follow my diet today.

I did not clean or straighten today.

I was showered but I did not brush my teeth today.

I was in a good mood today. My temperament was good.


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