December 17, 2015

I woke up with a feeling of soreness in my lungs. I drove to work at the usual time. Again, I had time to at least brush my teeth, but I didn’t feel like doing it. I got to work and was given time off of my classes to finish decorating, with the understanding that it would be done by the end of the school day. Then one of the teachers got sick and had to go home early. I got roped into staying to help with the concert.

By this time, my lungs were sore and I was coughing like crazy. My voice had dropped and was scratchy sounding.

On the bright side, I finally figured out what to get Diego for Christmas. I am making him a scarf. I started working on it in between the end of school and the concert. I over-thought how wide to make it. I ended up making it quite wide, reasoning that if it was too wide, he can fold it in half. I don’t know. I just hope I’m able to finish it before Christmas. I maybe shouldn’t have made it so wide so I could get it done faster.

I texted with Diego and told him I wasn’t feeling well. His first response was to ask whether or not I would be able to have sex tomorrow night. I told him I didn’t know, but I would know tomorrow. I could wake up tomorrow and feel better. I could wake up tomorrow and feel worse. He told me it was because I smoked. I am sure I am more susceptible to colds because of that. I lied and told him I hadn’t smoked that day. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe because I was embarrassed to have been in pain and smoked anyway. Maybe I didn’t want to admit to being an addict. Maybe it was because I was confused at the fact that smoking didn’t hurt my lungs because I thought I should. I lie so rarely and pride myself on my honesty so much, I had to stop and think about my choice. But I never came up with a good answer.

The concert went well and I remembered what to do and where the kids had to go and when. I didn’t envy the music teacher. She had even more stress than I did the past few weeks, but she did a great job and the kids sounded great! I contemplated whether or not I would be calling in to work tomorrow. I told myself I’d see how I felt it the morning.

———————–
Today I gave up my need for sleep and stayed at work late.

Today I’m grateful that my stress is done, that I got everything done, and I got brownie points for offering to help.

I offered to help out when I was asked to.

I spent no time in nature today.

I spent $15 on food.

I slept for about 6 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I did not follow my diet today.

I did not straighten or clean today.

I showered and I did not brush my teeth today.

I was was pretty happy, despite the fact that I was starting to get sick. My temperament was good.

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