November 16, 2015

I dreamed of Diego last night. As I think I have mentioned before, I rarely remember my dreams. It was like a third date with Diego where we were sitting on a couch watching a movie. He was too shy to make any moves, until the end of the night when he timidly kissed me. That was all there was of the dream.

After all of my agitation last night, I awoke pretty convinced that Diego was the better man. Maybe it was the dream. Maybe my brain sorted it all out while I slept. I don’t know. I couldn’t stop thinking about him on my way to work today. When I got there and texted him, asking when we were going out again. We talked about probable days and settled on going out one weeknight this week and if it goes well, we would spend Sunday together. Then we both had to do work, but he ended with a kissy face emoticon and I got uncharacteristically excited. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Of course, things happened that brought me both very up and very down emotionally. I found out that with the new contract that I am getting a raise! Then I found that my assistant principal wanted to meet with me on Wednesday, presumably to discuss that parent email and one piece of art that I discussed with my students that she deemed inappropriate. I worried a bit about that meeting. Everything in my life seems to be going so well, I hoped it wouldn’t be bad to even out all the good. I tried not to worry about it and focused my thoughts on Diego, knowing it would keep me happy.

In fact, many of my thoughts were directed at Diego throughout the day. We texted sporadically and set up a date for Wednesday, but neglected to say what we’re going to do. I also thought about tomorrow and having to deal with Juan. I only really had to worry about the ride home, but it would be awkward enough. I found my heart aching with butterflies, especially every time I was sent a text. I found myself checking my phone more often and feeling disappointed when there was no text from him. How could this happen? How could I have these feelings for someone who meant nothing to me yesterday?

We texted more in the evening. He sent me several pictures with sweet phrases and promises. Telling me that I’m beautiful, etc. He was laying it on so thick that I wondered if he was in earnest. I guess it’s a product of this society that assumes that over complimenting someone is akin to insincerity.

Today I’m grateful for my car, my artistic abilities, and the extra money I will be getting!

I like to believe that doing my job with love is an act of kindness. I did that today.

I did not spend time in nature today.

I spent no money today

I slept for about 6.5 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I followed my diet.

I did not straighten or clean today.

I was showered but did not brush my teeth today.

My mood started out was happy and excited for most of the day. My temperament was good.


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