November 14, 2015

I got up early to take a first aid class. I was surprised when I ran into a cute guy who knew me. He looked to be in his 20s with shoulder length brown hair and wearing under armor. I briefly mistook him for Jason from the class I took last weekend. It turns out his name was Jason too! I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from, because I would have remembered him. After some talking, he had worked for another department of a company I spent 6 months with last summer. We knew several of the same people and chatted about them. He must have changed in appearance a lot since the previous summer.

As we left, I gave him my card. He said if I was ever in his area (about an hour away from me), we should hang out. I told him that I never was, but that I’d like that. He was headed out to go hiking. I would have asked to join him, but I knew that his intended route was too much for me right now. He had hiked the entire AT this summer and I would just hold him up. I also found it impressive that he had hiked the whole AT! He said he’d text me his number when he got the chance.

When I got home, the feeling of discontentedness returned. I was lonely. I ran into my upstairs neighbor and chatted with him until it got awkward. I went to the store and back. I was still lonely. I found Jason on Facebook since we had mutual friends. He added me as a friend and I found out that he’s 24. That’s almost too young for me. But I suppose I’m getting ahead of myself. I may never see him again, even though it seemed like there was interest on his end.

I spent the rest of the night trying to assuage my loneliness. I must have looked at the same Facebook posts half a dozen times when Diego texted me. He asked me out to dinner tomorrow night. I said yes. I’m kind of nervous, but not the kind where you’re excited for a first date with somebody. I feel like he’s just as disinterested as I am, so there’s got to be some other motive to asking me out. Maybe I’m mistaken and he really does like me. Maybe he’s going to kill me to keep me away from Juan. I know it’s not likely and I know how to defend myself, but he’s such an unknown entity, that I really don’t know what to expect!

In the midst of texting back and forth with Diego, I ended up chatting with Jason on Facebook after he accepted my friend request. We made plans to go hiking next Saturday. I expressed my concern that it might be too much of a hike for me. He said it’s only 3-4 miles. That’s on the upper end of what I can handle. Then I googled it and saw that it’s closer to 5 miles with an 1,100 ascent! I’m not sure I can handle it, but I’m afraid to back out. If I collapse, at least he’ll know first aid! I don’t know if this is a date or what, but I’m sure I’ll find out!

Today I’m grateful for a warm bed, a dating prospect, and warm tea.

I don’t think I did an act of kindness today.

I did not spend time in nature today.

I spent $25 on a birthday gift, $30 in gas, $5 in fast food, and $10 on cigarettes today.

I slept for about 7 hours last night.

I did not meditate today.

I did not exercise today.

I did not follow my diet. When I got lonely I bought fast food.

I did not straighten or clean today.

I was showered and brushed my teeth today.

My mood was mostly good, except the loneliness after I got home. My temperament was good.


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