October 14, 2015

Today was good, but seemed more draining than it should have been. I had a lot of students asking me about the dance production and the theme and what was going to happen at the auditions. Maybe that’s why I felt drained. I don’t know.

On the train on the way home Juan sat in the same set of two seats as me. I was grateful that it didn’t change our friendship. However, he did seem more tired and worn than usual.

On the way home I had my iphone on shuffle and it seemed that every song that came on was about loneliness and longing. I felt a dull ache in my heart.   It didn’t affect my mood like it had in previous months. I wondered if I was ready to date again. I knew I wanted someone, but wasn’t ready to take just anyone. In fact, I couldn’t think of anybody that I wanted (who wasn’t already taken). I’m not sure if I convinced myself that I’m ready to date again or if I really am. It’s a moot point, I suppose, since there’s no one I really want to date. Maybe I’ll meet him someday. I was so tired when I got home that I went right to sleep.

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