October 7, 2015

After yesterday, I wasn’t sure how to treat Juan. I decided to try and act the same as usual to him. If I could sneak some hint that I shouldn’t date him into our conversation, so much the better. I didn’t expect to have a chance so soon. When we get on the first train, we sit apart. He sleeps and I meditate. We chat a bit at the connecting station, but then he usually sits with his friends. However, our usual train ran 25 minutes late today, so we ended up on a different train. He said it was going to get full and suggested sitting together in a set of two seats again. I agreed, inwardly leery of the notion. We talked the whole way of various things, as usual. Today we talked about what we liked to eat, how pretty the sky was, we both asked how you say certain words and certain phrases, and the need for blankets now that it’s fall. In that last conversation, I mentioned that it’s difficult to get out of bed because it’s warm, especially with the cats sleeping on me. He said I was married to my cats. I didn’t know the word in Spanish for creepy, but managed to convey my distaste of that comment. He probably didn’t mean to accuse me of bestiality, but that’s how I took it. I told him that all the men my age were married and that I didn’t want a boyfriend with a wife. I hope that conveyed my point sufficiently. He kindly said I would find someone someday. I hoped that was the end of that. However, when we switched trains, he again suggested we sit together in a set of two seats. I’m not going to lie, it had been a while since I had been so close to a man and it was making me uncomfortably horny, which I hid well.

My day was good. My brain kept switching back and forth between Spanish and English. I found myself having to actively try not to answer questions in Spanish. Not that I knew enough words to do so, but it was interesting that my brain was acting that way. I left work at a time to catch the first of two trains to the connector train that both Juan and I take. Well, I walked halfway to the station and realized I forgot my coat. It wasn’t a big deal until I realized that my keys were in the pocket. I walked all the way back to work and all the way to the train station, trying to be as quick as possible. I arrived, dripping with sweat, five minutes too late. That threw off my whole schedule. I arrived home an hour later than usual, resulting in only an hour and a half free to get things done before I went to bed. In that time I managed to shower and do very little otherwise.

——————————————————————

Act of kindness: I did nothing helpful today.

Nature: I spent 40 minutes in nature today.

Finances: I spent $5.75 for parking.

Relationships: I chatted with Juan in the morning and my coworkers.

Meditation: I meditated this morning.

Sleep: I slept 5 hours or so.

Exercise: I did 40 minutes exercise today.

Diet: I almost followed my diet today. I had one small piece of tiramisu and it wasn’t even worth breaking my diet over.

De-clutter/Clean: I did neither today.

Hygiene: I was showered today, but did not brush my teeth.

Mood and temperament: My mood was bad today. After that comment form Juan, I sunk into a depression that I couldn’t dig my way out of. My temperament was good.

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