October 11, 2015

I awoke next to Rich. He was so thin and tiny that I felt like a whale in comparison. Every so often he put his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest. I can’t actually call what we did was cuddling because it didn’t seem like there was enough of him to cuddle with. I used to like skinny guys when I was younger, but it was uncomfortable lying with him because of all of the prominent bones. It took him over two hours of this to kiss me. After that, things progressed quickly and we had sex again. He didn’t last long this time. He had told me that it had been about a year since he last had sex. By the way he went about it, I suppose he’s rather unfamiliar with the female body and seemed reluctant to touch me.

All in all, even though I never got to orgasm, I enjoyed my weekend with him. We had good conversations. It seemed like everything we talked about raised him in my esteem. The sex could be good if we had another opportunity to try it, though I doubt that would occur. He thanked me for inviting him down, which seemed to imply that I had purposely invited him for the sex. I guess he didn’t remember that he practically invited himself. Oh well, I suppose I shouldn’t quibble over particulars. When he left, he gave me a hug and then stayed in his car for a very long time before he drove away.

When he left, I was feeling lonely. I wondered what he made of the weekend. I wondered if he was interested in a relationship with me. I wondered if I wanted a relationship with him. I guess my training has been effectual because I didn’t know the answer to that question. Maybe it would be different if he lived closer. Who knows? But the old me would be over-analyzing everything he said or did while he was here to determine the strength of his regard and postulating the next time I could see him and hope he wanted a relationship. Oddly, I’m pretty apathetic about the notion. I’m more lonely because I enjoyed having company and now I am back to being alone again.

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