September 16, 2015

I woke up before my alarm, but once it went off, I wanted to sleep a little more. It seems odd. I had a good day at work, albeit less productive than I would like. I stayed late to get more work done and, perhaps, to try and catch the same train as Juan.

We chatted on the way home again. It makes the train ride go so quickly. I began remembering more words, but I still didn’t have enough of them to accurately talk as I would like. We chatted about my ex-husband. I was able to say that I left because he didn’t give me attention, which is accurate enough and that he now lives with his girlfriend. He seemed surprised that he wouldn’t give me attention and told me that I was beautiful and he was crazy. He asked me if I had a boyfriend.   Again, I didn’t have the words, so I simply said that I didn’t want one now and that I really didn’t have the time anyway. He told me about his wife and his three kids. How he likes to make her laugh and keep her happy. I told him that it was good to keep his wife happy. Then he complimented my eyes, “As a friend,” he said. But he always said he was very happy with his wife, so I let it go. He told me if he had met me when he was young he might be my boyfriend. The red flags went up and I told him that he wouldn’t like me when I was young because I was a little crazy (loco en la cabeza). I started to get worried that he was after something other than friendship, but he always talked about his wife and how happy they were, so I hope I’m just reading too much into things.

When I got off the train, I drove to Chandra’s house. I had my dose of spirituality, but I didn’t end up even really hearing anything she said. It felt like a wasted trip. Well, I suppose it wasn’t entirely wasted because I still ended up meditating. I couldn’t stay long because I had to be home to go to sleep on time. I still didn’t end up at home on time anyway. I stayed up and perused facebook for a little while, but not as long as usual. I read Jack’s latest blog entry. One thing that struck me was how he talked about how he perpetuates his cycle of relationship because of the type of person he is apparently drawn to. I saw that I was drawn to nice guys who are a little crazy. I don’t mind a little crazy, I suppose, but the manner of the crazy that they are DOES matter. I also realized that once I was finally able to rid myself of my manipulative behaviors, that I was the one who was taken advantage of. To be fair, it took me longer than I though to to rid myself of my manipulative behaviors. So how do I not be manipulative and not get taken advantage of?

—————————————————————————

Nature: I spent 30 minutes walking in nature today.

Finances: I spent $5.75 on parking and $9 on fast food.

Relationships: I chatted online with Jack and in person with some co-workers, Juan, and Chandra.

Sleep: I slept 6 hours or so.

Exercise: I walked for 30 minutes today.

Diet: I did not follow my diet today.

De-clutter/Clean: I did neither today.

Hygiene: I was showered today, but did not brush my teeth.

Mood and temperament: My mood was good. My temperament was good.

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