September 9, 2015

Today was my first day of work. I knew I hadn’t gotten enough sleep and hit the snooze bar several times. I had to skip breakfast, but I still managed to get to the train station on time. Today was the first day with students, but they were to stay with their homeroom teachers, so I decided to use the time as well as I could and get as much as I could accomplished. I also spent a little time on facebook. A friend of mine posted a meme that said “8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, and 8 hours for what you will. I thought about that. I work for almost exactly 8 hours. The school day is shorter, but I arrive early. I try to sleep for 8 hours. What do I spend the other 8 hours doing? I realized I have 3 hours of commute time, which can be spent doing any activity that I can accomplish sitting on a train. I usually spend 40 minutes in the morning meditating and the rest of my morning commute working on typing up the previous day for my blog. The afternoon commute is usually spent working on my to-do list, either for home or for work. I also spend 0.5 hours walking to and from work, but I count this as exercise and time spent in nature. I have 1.5 hours in the morning (if I get out of bed immediately). I spend that time showering, cleaning the cat’s litter, making breakfast, doing dishes, packing my bags and otherwise preparing for the day. That leaves approximately 3 hours after I get home before I’m supposed to go to sleep. This is the most underutilized portion of my day. Usually I’m too exhausted to do anything. Sometimes I don’t even eat dinner, I just stare at the tv or the computer screen until it’s time for bed.

Speaking of exhausted, my afternoon was filled with yet another professional development lecture. When I arrived, I found that most of the seats were full. I asked one teacher who had an empty seat next to her and she said someone was sitting there. I asked another teacher who said she was saving that seat for someone. Saving the seat? What was she, 13? And even if she was, by the time she gets to be an adult, she should at least have the tact to just say someone else was sitting there. I ended up in a seat next to my principal. After sitting through the first hour, I started to nod off. I don’t think it was perceptible, but I got up, went to the bathroom, got a drink, and tried to wake myself up again. It just didn’t look good to have me falling asleep during these things. It’s unprofessional.

On the way home, I was struck by two thoughts:

  1. There are many good looking guys out there. On the train, there have been several times where I saw a guy and said to myself, “I’d hit that!” I also finally understood the phrase “There are plenty of fish in the sea”. There are plenty of good-looking guys out there. I wondered how many guys there were who were good-looking on the inside.
  2. I also understood how much people isolated themselves on the commuter train that I take. I wondered why. Many sleep in the morning. In the afternoon they involve themselves with their headphones or their smartphone. I wondered if they were afraid of strangers or content solely with those they already knew.

When I got back, I went to Chandra’s house. As I tried to meditate, all I could think of was the married friend of mine. Just thinking of him made me horny just like it did yesterday. I do not like him in the sense that I want to date him. I also questioned the validity of his claim that he had his wife’s permission. I have two choices: 1. Tell him I do not want to sleep with him anymore. 2. Open up to him enough to teach him how to please me. But the possibilities exists that if I open up, I could care and/or get hurt. I stayed at Chandra’s house late because I told her I would help her type out a mass e-mail since I can type so quickly and I wasn’t going to see her again until Monday. It’s not that I minded helping her with it, but I minded getting home late. When I got home, I went straight to bed.

———————————————————————-

Nature: I spent a total of 30 minutes in nature walking to and from work.

Finances: I spent $5.75 for parking.

Socialize: I spent time with co-workers.

Sleep: I slept for 6 hours.

Meditate: I meditated today.

Exercise: I walked for 30 minutes today.

Diet: I did not follow my diet today. There was too much tasty free food given out at the professional development thing.

Clean/de-clutter: I did neither today.

Hygiene: I was showered, but did not brush my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: My mood was decent, even though I got tired very quickly in the afternoon again. My temperament was good.

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