September 2, 2015

I awoke at 4am and looked up the trains I would be taking to work. I thought I was doing well, but I guess I lost track of time and ended up on the very last train I could take and not be late to work. I worked on my seating charts on the train and catching up on this blog. When I got to work, I was genuinely surprised at how happy everyone seemed to see me. I tried very much to emulate happiness to see them, too. It’s not that I dislike any of them. I admire many of them for so many reasons, but am afraid to truly get to know any of them enough to make friends. There’s nothing more damaging to a teacher’s reputation than word getting out that I have a mental illness. It doesn’t matter that it’s (mostly) under control, schools are a very difficult place to work because you’re constantly on display for the parents. Some schools have parents that care less than others. At my current school, it seems most parents have an opinion or something to complain about, so I have to be vary careful. I always make sure my clothing will not, in any way, shift to show my tattoos and take out all my piercings other than the lowest earrings. It’s not like I have any facial piercings (I’m not stupid about how those will be perceived in my job), but my nipple ring often makes it look like I have three nipples on that breast and could definitely see how my middle school students might get distracted by such a thing! Anyway,  I just don’t feel like I should make any friends at work.

The conference day was dull, but at least I got my schedule and class lists. I got lost walking back to the train station. I made it there eventually, but it took me closer to a half hour than the 15 minutes it took me to walk there. I finally arrived home around 5pm. I made dinner and tried to get the energy to get stuff done. I did a bit more on the seating charts on my laptop and managed to copy and paste my lessons from last year to this year on the website that I do my planning on. I’ll need to update it quite a bit, but at least I have somewhere to start as far as my lesson planning goes! I was in bed by 8pm.

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Nature: I spent 45 minutes in nature today.

Finances: I spent $16.50 on my train tickets and $5.45 for parking today.

Relationships: I hung out with co-workers today.

Meditation:  I did not meditate today.

Sleep: I slept for 7 hours last night.

Exercise:  I walked for 45 minutes today.

Diet: I did not follow my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I did neither today.

Hygiene:  I showered, but did not brush my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: I was in a good mood, but got tired near the end of the day.  My temperament was good.

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