August 31, 2015

I got up early again so I could be at Chandra’s center at 6am.  The class was less what I needed at the time.  Rakhis were mentioned several times in today’s lesson. Oddly, I was already familiar with the concept. In Indian culture, there’s a holiday (which was on the 29th this year) where brothers and sisters will tie a rakhi on each others wrists. The brothers do so as a sign of protection for their sister. The sisters do so as a sign of love and to offer prayers for their brother. In this class, it was mentioned in today’s class that anyone can tie a rakhi on anyone because everyone can become like a brother or a sister.

Chandra, the teacher of the class, asked me to stay and help her again. She also offered to tie a rakhi on me. I was honored and said yes. Then she stated that it also symbolizes a promise to abide by the rules followed at the retreat center, which, I guess, they also follow there as well. Now most of them I think are great and I would love to promise to live by them. However, I had no desire to become a vegetarian or practice chastity. But I already stated that I would love to have her tie it on me. As she tied it, I offered my apologies to Chandra’s version of the divine for not even offering to try to become a vegetarian or be chaste and offered to follow the other rules.

I stayed and helped her contact a few more people. She wanted to explore other social networks and asked about Twitter and LinkedIn. I got her set up with a Twitter account and I explained to her how to use it. I also tried to explain the LinkedIn was not for promoting free meditation and spiritual classes.

When I got home, the rakhi fell off. I felt like it was meant to be. I re-tied it on myself and made my own promises to my version of the divine. I finished cleaning up my apartment because my mom and step-dad were coming to visit.

They came and I tried my best to be a good hostess, asking them questions and pretending to enjoy their company. I love them and everything, but I have never been good at showing that love and I would imagine that many of my friends don’t even realize I value their friendship because all I do is install them in front of movies that meant a lot to me while I cook. In this case, I tried to converse about trivialities while I cooked. They seemed to enjoy it. I served the food and they offered to help me drink some of the alcohol that was left in my fridge from my camping trip. We watched one of my favorite movies after dinner. They had two drinks each and I had three. After the movie, we chatted a bit about the movie and they had to get going. Those three drinks actually got me quite tipsy. I hoped they didn’t realize how I was wobbling a little in my gait as I walked them out. After they lift, the alcohol hit me more and I felt quite poorly.

I went outside to have a cigarette and I offered up a prayer, apologizing for already getting drunk. I asked for guidance and help in becoming the person I wanted to be. I went inside and went to sleep.

Here are today’s nuggets of wisdom from the morning class:

Jewels should constantly emerge from your lips.

Everyone is following you, so with every thought and every action consider yourself to have such a huge responsibility.

Those who spread the rays of all powers everywhere are master suns of knowledge.


Finances: I spent no money today.

Relationships: I hung out with Chandra, my mom, and step-dad today.

Meditation:  I meditated today.

Sleep: I slept for 6 hours last night.

Exercise:  I did no exercise today.

Diet: I followed my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I did both today.

Hygiene:  I showered, but did not brush my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: I was in a good mood. I was oddly disturbed by my accidental drunkenness.  My temperament was good.


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