August 29. 2015

I had two dreams last night. One was where a doctor looked at a raised mole on my arm (that is actually there in real life) and said it was cancer. That was the whole dream. The other dream I was driving in a light snow. The dusting barely covered the road, so I really didn’t take care to drive much slower than normally. Then I drove on a bridge and hit an ice patch. The ice sent my car into a very fast spin. As my car spun in circles several times, I realized there was nothing that I could do and was able to calmly accept the options that were likely to happen: I hit the barrier to the edge, the barrier gets knocked out by my car and I go over the edge, or the car stops spinning and I was able to continue driving. The bridge was wide with two lanes on either side. I felt the tense muscles in my body relax as I accepted whatever fate was to happen. Eventually, the car stopped spinning. I drove off of the bridge and pulled off of the side of the road. I saw kids pouring buckets of water on the bridge, which was on a bit of a hill, to allow the ice to form so they could slide on it. I tried to tell them how wrong they were in what they were doing, but I wasn’t able to convince them.

I checked the mole on my arm when I got up. It’s still raised and dark with a hair growing out of it, but it would still be deemed too small by a doctor to take any interest in it. Skin cancer runs in my family, so I keep an eye on every beauty mark and mole on my body every so often. Only one is growing, but it’s “too small” still. Only one is raised and extremely dark, but it’s also “too small”. Maybe there was some more symbolic meaning to the first dream, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

The second dream was much easier to determine. Once things in my life are beyond my control, I need to let go. If I can’t do anything about it, there’s no need to worry about it. I recall saying it before, but this week was the first time that I finally was able to actually put it into practice.

After I got up, I made a to-do list. There were over 40 items on that list under four different sub-headings and most of them had to be done soon. I spent the whole day working on those items and got about a quarter of them completed.

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Finances: I spent $30 on a membership to a trail club.  It was a requirement because I’m organizing a weekend trip and I had to be a member to do so.

Relationships: I talked to my mom on the phone.

Meditation:  I did not meditate today.

Sleep: I slept for 8 hours last night.

Exercise:  I did no exercise today.

Diet: I followed my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I did both today.

Hygiene:  I did not shower or brush my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: I was in a good mood.  I was happy that I was so productive, but a bit stressed out about the size of my to-do list.  The way I looked at it, though, the more I worked on it, the more I’d get done, so the less stressed I’d be about it!  My temperament was good.

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