July 30, 2015

I awoke and did my usual morning routine.  I showered and made breakfast. I debated what I was going to do about Frank standing me up the night before. I debated between staying away from his camp until Sunday and just going down there and calling him out on it. I decided to do some shopping as I put off my decision. Because we have so many people camping here, a sort of flea market crops up around the camp store when we stay there every year.  It has some useful things like groceries at the camp store and other various oddities depending on the stalls.  I was on my way down and stopped at the camp of my backpacking group. Jack decided to join me. I had a lot of fun shopping with him! Usually shopping for me is dull and just a means to an end. We had a lot of conversations about backpacking and talked about common mistakes newcomers make.  We were nearing the end when we ran into Frank. I accused him of not showing up yesterday. Apparently he didn’t remember stating that he would stop by when we were drinking. Jack took that as his cue to leave.

Frank said that he was actually planning on stopping up to visit me after he was done at the flea market. Sigh, I’m such a softie. I got over it and invited him to go with me to visit people I considered myself bound to visit at least once, but I really didn’t know all that well. We didn’t talk much to each other. I wanted to, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. Surprisingly, he came up to my backpacking group with me. He really seemed to enjoy himself and even mentioned visiting them again. I took it as a good sign. Katie, a younger member of the group, asked if he was my appendage. We looked at each other awkwardly and I stated that he was following me around today. He was deemed my “temporary appendage” and the subject was changed. He followed me back to my tent and hung out for a few minutes. I asked him what he had planned for the rest of his day. He was eating food court dinner and going out, but not to many places. I asked him if he minded if I followed him or if he was sick of me. He smiled slightly and said he wasn’t sick of me.

He bought me dinner and we went back to his camp, but I was fading fast. Frank offered his bed so I could nap. I did, then I joined him in going out. We stopped at the place we went to first on Tuesday night. It was pretty empty because some of the larger parties had started up elsewhere. I don’t like those parties. There were too many people there for my taste. I drank way too much. I vaguely remember getting to the point where I loved everyone and was making promises I definitely couldn’t keep. I was told Frank and I had some good conversations, but I didn’t remember them. I remember a little of our walk back. I asked him if he was my appendage now. I don’t remember his answer. The next thing I remember is discussing long-distance relationships. I said they only work if there’s an end-date and my contract ends in May. He said we should discuss this sober.

We got back to his tent because there was no way I could make it back to mine. We attempted sex. He couldn’t stay up so I did something really stupid. I have never done anything like this before. I put him inside me without a condom. I told him I am not on any kind of birth control and asked if he was okay with the possible consequences. He said he was, but stopped me before he finished.  We went to sleep.

—————————————————————————————————–

Relationships: I chatted with various people today.

Meditation:  I did not meditate today.

Sleep: I slept 9 hours last night plus a small nap.

Exercise:  I walked around a fair amount.

Diet: I followed my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I did neither today.

Hygiene:  Was showered but did not brush my teeth.

Mood and temperament: My mood was good today.  I had a good day and a good night.  My temperament was good.

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