August 2, 2015

I walked back to my tent at 4:30am, changed my clothes, wrote in my journal and got to my 7am meeting on time. Part of the meeting was about the lack of volunteers to help with various things that needed to be done around the campground due to our overwhelming numbers.   I offered to volunteer and spent the better part of the day doing various things for the campground owners.

I went back to visit my PA friends. Tonight, they hosted their own party in their camp. Lynn spent the rest of the afternoon dressing me up in clothing that showed a lot more skin than I typically do.  I had to go back to my camp to go get the alcohol I was going to bring to their party.  Chris kindly drove me there so I didn’t have to walk all the way there and back with two 12-packs of hard cider.

I stopped to give money to Zack and Danielle for ice when I just lost it and started crying. I had been overtired and overemotional all day and it had just been growing worse as the day progressed. I told Zack everything – my backpacking group, the guy who dumped me on New Years Day, Bryan, Frank – all of it. He advised me not to go to the party tonight, but I couldn’t see how not to. So I went. By the beginning of my second cider, I was falling asleep in my chair. Frank asked me if I was okay, which was probably the first time he acknowledged my existence all day. I can’t remember exactly what was said, something along the lines of the fact that I was falling asleep. I kept nodding off hoping that he would invite me to stay and sleep in his tent. He didn’t, so I said goodbye to people and sleepily walked home.

————————————————————————————————–

Finances: I spent $8.75 on breakfast and $7.99 on cigarettes and a lighter.

Relationships: I hung out with various people.

Meditation:  I did not meditate today.

Sleep: I have no idea how much I slept last night.  I slept so poorly and awoke so often, I could not even guess how long I slept for.

Exercise:  I walked today.

Diet: I did not follow my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I did neither today.

Hygiene:  I did neither today.

Mood and temperament: My mood went from bad to worse.  I was tired.  Then I was tired and cranky.  Then I was tired and emotionally unstable.  My temperament was good.

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