August 12, 2015

I awoke a few times thinking I heard the distinctive sound of Frank walking.  I awoke crying.  I had made sure not to lose contact with Frank via facebook messages.  At first, his replies seemed slow and possibly grudging.  Today was the first day where it appeared that he was actually interested in our conversations.  He apologized when he was slow to respond and even messaged me on his own a few times.  I tried to not get too excited about that prospect.  I tried to put my best conversational foot forward to keep him interested in talking to me.

My motivation was at an all-time low, but Frank practically told me to go put away my clothes.  My motivation continued and I was able to make my apartment look at least decent.  My motivation didn’t last long.  By evening, I felt an emptiness inside.  I couldn’t figure out how to fill it, so I turned to the internet and facebook.  However, nobody that used to chat with me regularly was around.  I watched some videos online and looked at facebook so long, the posts started repeating themselves.  I returned to Candy Crush and Words with Friends just to have something to think about.  I stayed up late, but the feeling of emptiness pervaded.


Finances: I spent $45 on groceries.

Relationships: I talked to my mom on the phone.

Meditation:  I did not meditate today.

Sleep: I slept for 8 hours last night, but awoke a few times.

Exercise:  I really didn’t exercise today.

Diet: I followed my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I straightened up my apartment quite a bit.

Hygiene:  I did neither today.

Mood and temperament: I was low on motivation and while happy enough earlier in the day, I felt depressed and empty later on..  My temperament was good.


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