August 1, 2015

I awoke around 3:30am and something didn’t feel right. I touched my scalp at the front of my head and there was an insect there. I managed to grab it and pull it halfway down the strand of hair. Then I lost it. I combed my hair with my hands, flattened it between my fingers, and brushed it over 100 times. I found no evidence of the insect and went back to bed.

I woke up again at 7:00am and the insect was still in my hair and moving. I managed to get it out. It was an earwig. It was about 1” long and had what looked like pincers on one and and a long sharp joint on the other. A friend of mine got one caught in his ear a few years ago and had to go to the hospital to get it removed. I had been sleeping with foam earplugs ever since. Looking at it, I wondered if the foam earplugs would even work to keep it out of my ears. Another friend got stung by one this year and it drew blood through fabric. Honestly, it freaked me out more than it should have.

I caught up on several days of journaling and started to wonder if Frank was coming. He showed up around 10 stating that he had stomach issues from food he ate the night before. We missed breakfast, but he took me out to lunch. We chatted on and off. He accompanied me on some errands then I followed him back to his camp. I used the excuse of wanting to see my friends Lynn and Kyle who had come in last night, but really I wanted to spend more time with him. He was silent and I tried to have a good time. My friend Lynn was going to be bar-tending at one of the parties tonight. I stated my desire to go but had to be in a meeting at 7am with the campground owners and had various other commitments throughout the day. Ashley came up with a solution. I take a nap, go out, crash in Frank’s tent, and wake up early. I didn’t nap much. Frank came in and I insisted that he kiss me. He went for the forehead first and I insisted on the lips. We went out, but I didn’t last long. I went to his tent and went to sleep. It was cold. I woke up shivering several times and was heartsick wondering where he was. I finally gave up and left around 4:30am. I know he said he’d be out until it was light out, but for some reason, I still expected him back sooner. My heart hurt. Almost every time I woke up, I kept thinking I heard him.  He has a sort of utility belt that makes a unique sound when he walks, so I kept thinking it was him I heard.  It never was.

—————————————————————————————–

Finances: I spent no money today

Relationships: I chatted with various people today.

Meditation:  I did meditate today.

Sleep: I slept 8 hours last night.

Exercise:  I walked a lot

Diet: I followed my diet today.

De-cluttering and cleaning: My tent was clean and straightened.

Hygiene:  I was showered and brushed my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: My mood fluctuated a lot today.  Most of it had to do with my reactions to Frank’s behavior.  Not a good thing.  It only got worse because I was tired and cold and wanting Frank and he wasn’t there.  My temperament was good.

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