I woke up depressed and crying. I told Kevin what happened and he said it was only natural. He said that I had come out here to find love and got screwed over instead. I guess he’s right, but my inclination is to give Oliver the benefit of the doubt. I tried talking to him in the morning to see if he wanted to hang out again. Yes, it’s pathetic, I know. I felt like we made a connection and thought he felt it too. I think I just succeeded in pissing him off. To be fair, I was rather emotional and didn’t do a great job of hiding it when I was talking to him.
We went to the beach, but it was very hot there and I got a sunburn, so we went out to eat. I ate some food with gluten in it and was sick after that. I spent the rest of the day on the computer. I decided to stop talking to Oliver because I felt like anything I said would make things worse. I left the singles group stating that I was hurting too much to give anyone else a chance right now. That caused several people to message me. Some were looking to prey on a wounded heart, but I shut them down quickly. Others were curious what happened. The rest actually were decent conversationalists. And while I’m really not ready to give my heart to anyone (as I told them all when I irst started talking to them) it really felt nice to be getting attention.
My step-mom could tell that something was wrong. I blamed my lack of sleep. I blamed lots of things, but I don’t think she believed me. I tried to act like I was enjoying myself with them, but it was difficult when I was so miserable and, at times, was holding back tears.
Relationships: I spent time with my dad and step-mom
Meditation: I did not meditate today.
Sleep: I slept 8 hours last night.
Exercise: I walked for maybe 15 minutes.
Diet: I followed my diet, except for lunch. I ended up having meat that was breaded at the restaurant I was at and didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I wish I had because my intestinal tract was not happy with the gluten.
De-cluttering and cleaning: n/a, I’m still not home.
Hygiene: I showered yesterday.
Mood and temperament: My mood was bad being very depressed, but at least I kept my temperament in check.