Well, every weekday looked something like this.
5am – Play slap-clock until I can no longer help getting up.
6:30am – Rush off to work.
7:00am-7:00pm – work.
7:30pm-11:00pm – do work from home.
May 2
I woke up and the sun was shining brightly, so I thought that I had successfully slept in. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:30am. I had a sore throat. I straightened up a bit and did some laundry. Then I had to run around and do some stuff for work. I had to run back to work around 5:00pm.
After it was over, I felt very relieved and very proud of myself. But I also felt empty. Sure, I had been invited to a diner by one of the parents, but I chose to go home instead. I decided to do something irresponsible like drink the remainder of the hard cider in my fridge while chain smoking in “celebration”. As I drank, I decided to join both Tinder and a Facebook group for singles that a friend of mine recommended. I don’t actually remember much of what I wrote. Tinder is a very shallow way of dating. You just look at their pictures. I wonder if any personality is taken into consideration at all. And it didn’t work well on my phone.
May 3
When I woke up, my throat hurt worse. It was actually painful to talk. I probably shouldn’t have smoked all those cigarettes the night before. My back lso hurt a lot. I couldn’t bed down and several positions were very painful.I was definitely getting sick. But I had told my friend, the one who is like a little brother to me, that I’d hang out with him. It took me longer than usual to get going. I stopped for a fast food breakfast, but made sure to purchase plenty of liquids. I had hoped that dehydrated was why my back was hurting. I picked him up and brought him to my place. We watched movies and I got this weird desire to snuggle with him. It was probably just that I wasn’t feeling well and I wanted something comforting, but it was still weird for me. I also didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. I settled for putting my feet on his lap. I also didn’t want him to realize how vulnerable I was and I felt because I wasn’t feeling well. I slept on and off throughout the day and the three movies that we watched. I felt like a bad hostess, but he claimed that he still enjoyed getting out of town for a bit.
After he left, I chatted with three guys I had met on the dating facebook page. Two were both 47, which I considered too old for me, but they were still fun to talk to. The other was my age, but lived in the midwest, whereas I live on the coast. I did ejnoy talking to him. He has some issues, but then again, so do I. He also mentioned that he’s really big. I have dated big guys before, but he’s probably 100lbs heavier than the biggest guy I have dated, so I’m not sure how I’d react to that. I’m not generally shallow and I’m usually more attracted to personality than looks, but I wonder if this would cross the line. I struggled with dating one guy because he was big and hairy and sweated a lot. Those are all traits that I’m not terribly fond of. But he was a very nice guy! Oh well, best to see how things play out, I suppose.
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Exercise – none
Diet – I stress ate like it was my job
De-cluttering and cleaning – I de-cluttered one day and didn’t clean at all.
Hygiene – I showered twice this week and brushed my teeth once.
Mood and temperament – I was tired and stressed all week. Even so, I don’t think I lost my temper with anyone!
Depressimatic Me 