April 27-May 3, 2015

Well, every weekday looked something like this.

5am – Play slap-clock until I can no longer help getting up.
6:30am – Rush off to work.
7:00am-7:00pm – work.
7:30pm-11:00pm – do work from home.

May 2
I woke up and the sun was shining brightly, so I thought that I had successfully slept in.  I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:30am.   I had a sore throat.  I straightened up a bit and did some laundry.  Then I had to run around and do some stuff for work.  I had to run back to work around 5:00pm.

After it was over, I felt very relieved and very proud of myself.  But I also felt empty.   Sure, I had been invited to a diner by one of the parents, but I chose to go home instead.  I decided to do something irresponsible like drink the remainder of the hard cider in my fridge while  chain smoking in “celebration”. As I drank, I decided to join both Tinder and a Facebook group for singles that a friend of mine recommended.  I don’t actually remember much of what I wrote.  Tinder is a very shallow way of dating.  You just look at their pictures.  I wonder if any personality is taken into consideration at all.  And it didn’t work well on my phone.

May 3
When I woke up, my throat hurt worse. It was actually painful to talk.  I probably shouldn’t have smoked all those cigarettes the night before.  My back lso hurt a lot.  I couldn’t bed down and several positions were very painful.I was definitely getting sick.  But I had told my friend, the one who is like a little brother to me, that I’d hang out with him.  It took me longer than usual to get going.  I stopped for a fast food breakfast, but made sure to purchase plenty of liquids.  I had hoped that dehydrated was why my back was hurting.  I picked him up and brought him to my place.  We watched movies and I got this weird desire to snuggle with him.  It was probably just that I wasn’t feeling well and I wanted something comforting, but it was still weird for me.  I also didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.  I settled for putting my feet on his lap.  I also didn’t want him to realize how vulnerable I was and I felt because I wasn’t feeling well.  I slept on and off throughout the day and the three movies that we watched.  I felt like a bad hostess, but he claimed that he still enjoyed getting out of town for a bit.

After he left, I chatted with three guys I had met on the dating facebook page.  Two were both 47, which I considered too old for me, but they were still fun to talk to. The other was my age, but lived in the midwest, whereas I live on the coast.  I did ejnoy talking to him.  He has some issues, but then again, so do I.  He also mentioned that he’s really big.  I have dated big guys before, but he’s probably 100lbs heavier than the biggest guy I have dated, so I’m not sure how I’d react to that.  I’m not generally shallow and I’m usually more attracted to personality than looks, but I wonder if this would cross the line.  I struggled with dating one guy because he was big and hairy and sweated a lot.  Those are all traits that I’m not terribly fond of.  But he was a very nice guy!  Oh well, best to see how things play out, I suppose.

———————————————————-

Exercise – none

Diet – I stress ate like it was my job

De-cluttering and cleaning – I de-cluttered one day and didn’t clean at all.

Hygiene – I showered twice this week and brushed my teeth once.

Mood and temperament – I was tired and stressed all week.  Even so, I don’t think I lost my temper with anyone!

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