April 2-5, 2015

April 2
I got up at 4am this morning so I could walk to work.  The walk wasn’t impossible, but I knew it was going to be long.  Four and a half miles was a long way to walk.  When I decided to make this month’s focus exercise, I didn’t expect to be jumping into it with both feet.  I had planned to ease myself into it.  Google said it would take me an hour and a half to walk it.  I decided to give myself two hours, just in case.  It took me an hour and 50 minutes.  By the time I got there I was ravenous!  People had left out cookies and candy and I pigged out on them! I was glad it was a shortened day.

My mom picked me up from work and drove me to the DMV.  The DMV told me that I needed a current inspection to get my registration and the police said that I needed a current registration to get my car out of impound.  They eventually worked it out and gave me a temporary registration.  It expires in 30 days to allow me enough time to get my car inspected.  By about 1pm, I was exhausted and was often fighting sleep.  I got to Bryan’s place and tried to stay awake.  His daughter spent her time doing my hair, which was fun.  His son spent his time talking to me about various topics.  I fell asleep before the kids did while watching a movie with them.

April 3
I awoke in Bryan’s arms, which is always so nice.  I heard one of his kids stirring in their room, so I hurried up and went downstairs so it would look like I slept on the couch.  We all took a road trip to the town where I had an unpaid ticket.  I paid it and got my license un-suspended.  Then I had the idea that we could color eggs together.  It was fun.  We also played board games and had enough time for me to do the girl’s hair in a french braid before they left.  Bryan and I were going to try and catch a movie right after he dropped off his kids, so I came with him.  I stayed in the car, unsure if I should meet their mother or not.  Apparently she commented that I can do hair better than she could.  We didn’t make it to the movie on time, but went food shopping and made a healthy meal together.  He’s working to eat healthier too, but he seems to be sticking to his diet better.  It was a good night spent together, but I ended up falling asleep early again.  My calves hurt from the day before, so I chose this day of the week to not exercise.

April 4
I said goodbye to Bryan early because I was meeting a friend to go hiking.  My calves were still very sore, but I tried to stick it out anyway.   The trails were very nice where we went and we had some good conversations.  I went home and dropped my car off at a garage.  The list of things they gave me that needed to be fixed before I could pass inspection did not at all match the list given to me by another garage a month or two before.  The only thing that stayed the same was the reason why my check engine light was on.  I hate being female and dealing with unknown mechanics.  So many of them try to screw you over.   I knew I needed a new serpentine belt, so when they told me that I needed a new belt and a tensioner, I told them to go ahead with the work.  Then they called me and told me it wasn’t the tensioner, it was a second belt and charged me $145 for it.   Yes, I understand that serpentine belts can be a bit of a pain to change, but it still seemed like a lot of money for two belts.

When I got home, my annoyance at the mechanic had turned to depression.  I just laid on my bed and told myself of the things I should be doing when Bryan messaged me.  He was at a barbeque in the next state over and wanted me to join him there.  I asked him about the rule we made where we saw each other once a week.  He said he missed me and that he wanted me to meet his sister.  With an invitation like that, I really couldn’t refuse.  It was still an hour and a half drive for me.  When I got there, there was a lot of drinking, smoking, and raunchy jokes.  His kids were mostly preoccupied elsewhere in the house, but I still felt weird drinking and smoking when they were around.  I guess his ex-wife had dropped the kids off there after they spent the night at her house.  I was a little disturbed to see that they were both wearing the same clothes that they were on Friday when we dropped them off and his daughter’s hair was still done up in the french braid.

I got along with the other people there well and had a good time.   Eventually, his ex-wife and her boyfriend stopped by.  I tried to treat her like I did everyone else there and everything seemed to go well, superficially, at least. As the night wore on, I noticed that Bryan was swaying when trying to stand up.  I made sure to take his arm whenever he tried to walk somewhere.  He eventually ended up passing out on a reclining chair.  I was worried about him so I asked his sister if he was likely to throw up since I hadn’t seen him get like this before.  I asked her if she should put down a bucket or trash can for him.  His ex-wife interjected and said to just leave him alone and he would be fine.  I figured she knew him well enough to know better, so we left him alone.  He slept for about a half hour, then woke up and threw up all over the chair, himself, the floor, and the carpet.  He got up and stumbled his way into the bathroom.  He fell backwards into the bathtub and threw up on himself and in the bathtub.  The sound woke up his oldest who told me the noise woke him up and asked for a glass of water.  I told him someone had tripped and fell, but they’re going to be fine.  I had to do my best to keep him out of the bathroom.  I felt like he should not see his father like that.  I ran out to try and get the glass of water to placate him and keep him out of that bathroom.  While I got the water, his mother went in there.  I don’t know what she said or did to him, but when I returned, he neither moved nor spoke when I told him I had his water.  It was weird, but I had been drinking and didn’t question it at the time.  Right before she left, I watched her raid the kids Easter candy, taking care to take from the baskets equally so that the candy wouldn’t be missed.

Bryan’s sister and her husband told me that they had never seen him get this drunk before.  They jokingly blamed my presence.  That stung, but I was able to pull it off like I thought it was a funny joke.  Eventually Bryan sobered enough to clean his vomit out of the bathtub and washed himself off.  He laid down on a long couch.  I curled up on the other end and tried to sleep.  It didn’t work well.  My back hurt when I curled up in one direction and my shoulder hurt when I curled up in the other direction.  At one point, Bryan woke up and curled up against me.  He kind of smelled like vomit still, but I remembered that I was wearing his hoodie and I could always wash my comforter cover when I got home.

April 5
I slept poorly.  I was hurting a lot, so I tried to sleep on the floor, but it was too cold.  At one point, when everyone was asleep except for me, Bryan’s daughter came out of her bedroom asking for her mommy.  I told her that her mommy wasn’t here and asked if I could do anything for her.  She wanted a drink, so I got up to give her one, when Bryan woke up and did it instead.  He apologized over and over.  I stopped him from apologizing, but told him that his sister and her husband should probably get an apology from him.  So he thanked me repeatedly instead.  He thanked me for not running in the other direction when I saw him like that.  He thanked me for helping him.  He thanked me for all sorts of things.  I still refused to kiss him because I had no doubt that he tasted like vomit.  At first he thought I was punishing him (what kind of woman was his ex if that was his first conclusion?), but I explained that I didn’t want to taste the vomit on his breath and that I wasn’t upset with him.  I was more worried about what would have caused him to drink that much.  He explained that he just misjudged the alcohol content in some of the home-brewed drinks they were serving.  I had avoided those drinks and I was glad that I did!

I drove to my mom’s house for Easter dinner.  My mom is over-medicated, so it’s kind of dull hanging out with her.  Even so, she’s a good person, so I try to do my duty by her.  I was very tired and kept nodding off on her couch.  Then I picked up my little brother who wanted to spend a few days with me.  We stopped by Bryan’s house because his friend had a code-reader that could erase the check engine light long enough for me to get my car inspected.  Bryan told me again that he missed me, so we stayed longer than I intended.

When Kevin and I got back to my apartment, it was disgusting.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t exactly clean when I left.  I already had a sink full of dishes, and the bathroom floor was already scattered with cat vomit and excrement.  I think it was worse making my brother see and smell it.  I spent the next hour making things more bearable.  He helped a bit and did some dishes.  We watched a movie, which I fell asleep during the first few minutes of watching.

————————————————————————————-

Exercise: I got plenty of exercise on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday (when I walked back from the mechanics).  I did not do any of my PT or stretching on those days.

Diet: I did not follow my diet on any of these days, but there were days when I was close.

De-cluttering and cleaning: I de-cluttered on Sunday.  I did not clean on any day.  Some days I was not home at all, so could not clean or de-clutter.  Otherwise, I was either just busy or lazy.

Hygiene:  I showered and brushed my teeth on Friday, but that was the only day.

Mood and temperament: I think my mood, overall was good.  There were a few days when I was just too tired to figure out what my mood was.  And I got annoyed/upset/depressed with my car inspection situation.

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