February 20, 2015

This morning, Bryan and I woke up early so I could climb into the made-up couch.  When his kids woke up, they came down and “woke” me up.  He got them ready to go to daycare, but the youngest actually came over and asked me to braid her hair!  Priceless!  It was a good feeling!

While Bryan was at work, I met my friend Dan to go hiking, even though it was really cold out.  I almost fell asleep while driving to meet him, even though it was early afternoon. I hadn’t seen Dan in a while because he had moved away.  He’s an odd friend.  I had slept with him several times over the course of last summer.  It was mostly because I my self-esteem was low, he showed interest, and my boyfriend at the time and I were seeing other people.  I really had no interest in him, but he got rather attached to me.  I should have listened to my logic, but I didn’t.  He is also rather annoying.  It was much easier to sleep with him than it was to hang out with him and listen to him talk.  I know that sounds like an asshole thing to say, but it really is true.  Thankfully, he spent most of our hike pointing out the beautiful features of the landscape.

I spent the evening with my friend Bridget and a few other friends.  In the course of conversation, I mentioned my mom’s mental health issues.  I thought I had mentioned them before, but apparently not.   Bridget was trained as a therapist.  She stated that it made a lot of sense that my stay-at-home mom was undiagnosed for much of my life.  Her diagnosis ended up being “depressive with psychotic episodes”.  I asked her why it made sense.  She told me that it was because of all of the issues I have.  It was weird, but in that moment, I realized that I no longer identified with the fact that I have issues.  My issues were no longer part of my identity.  It was a wonderful and refreshing moment for me!

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De-cluttering and cleaning: I did neither today because I didn’t go home.

Hygiene: I showered yesterday, but did not brush my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: I was happy and my temperament was good.

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