February 11, 2015

I still haven’t recovered from my lack of sleep yet. It didn’t help that my back hurt a lot again this morning.  I stayed in bed for a longer time than I should have and ended up skipping my shower.  That means I’ll have to take it in the evening.  I hate taking evening showers.  The sensation of the evaporation of my hair makes me cold and makes it difficult to sleep.  I also don’t like the weird creases my hair gets after sleeping with it wet.  I suppose that a hair dryer would fix that issue, but for some reason, I don’t like using them.

I was tired throughout the day again.  I still got everything done that I wanted to do throughout the day again.  My apartment is really starting to look good.  The changes are slower than I would like, but it’s nice to see the changes.

Bryan came over again tonight.  He told me that he looked online for some advice and that he wants to date me for 6 months before I meet his kids, especially since they’re younger.  I understand the reasons he has.  They are all good reasons.  We should make sure the relationship between the two of us is good before bringing in another element [kids].  The six months will allow us enough time to make sure that the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship is over.  It will give us time to make sure the relationship is actually going somewhere.   I just worry for a few reasons.  He has already told me that he feels guilty when he’s spending time with me because he’s not spending time with them.  I worry that eventually, he’s going to spend less time with me and things will fizzle out between us.

He also told me that he thinks he is starting to fall in love with me.  I don’t think he realized that I was napping right before he said that.  I kissed him after he said it to allow me a few seconds to process and figure out my response.  I told him I think I was falling in love with him back.  We fell asleep entangled in each others arms. It felt so nice!

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De-cluttering and cleaning:  I de-cluttered more papers and cleaned the kitchen floor.

Hygiene: I showered and brushed my teeth today.

Mood and temperament: My mood and temperament were okay.  I was tired, but when Bryan came over, it didn’t matter.  I instantly cheered up a bit.

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