January 31, 2015

Today I remembered two dreams from last night. I dreamed my father and three brothers were sold into slavery at a carnival and  I had to get them out. My father didn’t actually look like my father and I don’t have three brothers.  I was doing re-con for my plan when I woke up and the dream ended.  I also dreamed I was getting an award that I didn’t deserve. Most of my friends and family were not in the audience and the most unlikely people in my life were speaking for me and saying why I deserved the award.  I had just decided to turn it down when the dream ended.

I woke in Bryan’s arms, which was such a nice and comforting feeling.  We spent probably an hour after we woke up kissing and cuddling.  We had sex too. Then we talked.  He said something about liking me so much already.  I took this one step further and asked him if it seemed too good to be true and he was wondering about the down side.  He said yes.  So I told him about my biggest character flaw, my depression.  He took it very well.  Much better than I would have expected.

Then we got up and went for a hike, which was our plan for the day.  It was cold out and my hypothyroidism makes my extremities colder, so I layered and bundled up.  We had a drive of about an hour to get there, so we sung along with the radio together.  I’m so glad he enjoys singing along to music too!  I added it to the list of reasons that I like him.  He seemed to feel the same way.  He said that he enjoys singing loudly in the car alone, but never did it when other people were around.

When we got there, I realized that I should have checked my gear before I left.  My gloves had an inner liner and it had pulled out of the fingers enough to not allow my hand in them all the way.  I tried to fix them, but they refused to be fixed.  I had to keep that hand balled up in the liner.  It ended up being the warmer of my two hands by the end of our hike!  The hike was nice.  I rarely hike in the winter, especially in the snow.

After we got back to his place, we had maybe 45 minutes of kissing and cuddling when we had to meet two friends of mine.  They live near him, so I had called them up to make plans.  We met for dinner and seemed intent on scaring Bryan away.  Thankfully, it didn’t work.  Then Bryan had to go pick up his kids.  His ex-wife was being particularly bitchy about him picking them up early.  We went to his place and I packed up my stuff.  He lingered while I was kissing him and told me he wished I could stay.  I got the feeling that he was wishing that I would stay for ever.  He really fell fast for me.  I really like him and enjoy spending time with him, but it’s always a little creepy when someone falls faster than you do.  Especially if you went pretty fast yourself.

My back pain was STILL pretty bad today.  It was difficult to get out of bed, chairs, etc.  I can’t wait for the storm on Sunday to hit so my pain will be gone!

———————————————————————–

Hygiene – I didn’t brush my teeth because I fell asleep as soon as I got home.  I was still clean from yesterday’s shower.

Mood and temperament – I started to slowly oscillate from up to down.  Bryan noticed and asked what was wrong.  I just told him that I was tired. I did not snap at anyone today.

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