January 25, 2015

I spent most of the day feeling tired and out of it.  I drank a lot the night before.  My back pain was also really bad.  I had difficulty putting on my jeans this morning.  It could have been what the alcohol did to my body (maybe dehydration) or it could have just been the impending storm.

I really felt blessed to have been able to go on this trip at all considering I really didn’t have the money to pay for it.  My ex shared his room with me.  It’s not anything like you think.  Nothing happened and I didn’t think he wanted anything to happen, so it all worked out well.  I also didn’t pay for the alcohol.  Another set of friends brought the alcohol.  I hate feeling like a freeloader, but it beats being stuck at home without being able to go at all.  This morning I told my ex about Bryan.  He acted so nonchalant that I initially was convinced that everything was fine.  But then I realized he left the room and packed up his things without saying goodbye, so now I kinda wonder.  He was nice enough to pay for the room, but HE dumped ME.  I gave him two weeks to repent his decision, then I moved on.  I am pretty ambivalent on this subject.  I kinda feel like an asshole because he payed for the room.  But he dumped me.  He also never showed any signs of wanting me back.  I honestly thought we were sharing it as friends.

I spent several hours returning home.  Then I received a small heart attack.  A figurative one, not a real one.  I found out that my grades were due tomorrow.  I apparently hadn’t attended the faculty meeting that the due date was announced at.  I hadn’t started them and was rather behind.  As such, I spent the rest of the night trying to finish them.  I finally did and then went to bed.

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Hygiene – I brushed my teeth and had showered the day before, so I didn’t see a need to shower again.

Mood and temperament – I was pretty blah, probably from the fact that I only got 4 hours of sleep and mildly hung over.  I wasn’t unhappy, but I was rather out-of-it.

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